Third Trimester Blahs and Musings

So, here it is week 34, only about 6 weeks to go, and I am the most miserable happy person you know.  That is the only way I can describe how I am feeling at the moment.  Gone are the “honeymoon” days of the second trimester.  They have quickly become overrun by the fatigue, muscle cramping, inability to breathe, being constantly kicked in the ribs, unable to get comfotable on any surface days.  I can no longer sit and watch even a 30 minute TV show without grunting and groaning as I try to change position and get more comfortable.  Not only is it the breathing and rib kicking that does it, but also the difficulty in physically moving myself.  Going from 120 to 166.7lbs is NOT as fun as it is cracked up to be.

There is also the baby moving.  She is getting bigger and stronger by the hour it seems, so now when she moves it is no longer a sweet, “Oh, Hi Baby!”.  It is more of a “HELLO!  YOU CANNOT EXIT THROUGH MOMMY’S BELLY BUTTON OR SIDE!!!!”

Still – what an experience!  Every day when I wake up and find that my hips are burning like acid has been poured into my joints, or my round ligaments have all but stretched out to their fullest and most painful extent, and Ella is kicking and demanding food be placed in my belly, it just keeps hitting me that this is not simply a “state of being” that I am in, but actually happening with a definite outcome.  I AM GOING TO BE A MOMMY!!  Someone is going to love me like I love my own Mother, someone is going to look at me for guidance and safety.  I am going to be in stories to their friends, coworkers and significant other someday (as long as they are good stories, of course!).  That makes me so happy!

And it seems that other people with children always want to tell you the negatives of being a parent, no one has EVER come up to me and said, “This is the most wonderful experience, enjoy every minute of it!”  It is always, “Enjoy this time for you, because after this, you don’t exsist anymore, only your children do.”  Or, “Enjoy your sleep while you can, this is the last time you’ll ever get any!”  What a way to encourage and support new parents!  What about the first time your baby smiles?  Or says “Mommy!”?  What about first steps, Christmases where they know it is Christmas, first day of school?  What about being excited to encourage and support a new PERSON in the world?  Just to see how much they can accomplish?

I have never thought or said it was going to be EASY, but those moments have to make it worth while!  I know it did as an elementary school teacher; the excitement of the first day of school and learning something in a fun way, watching as your students “got it” for the first time.  That made all the other “regular” days worth every second.

So despite all the blahs of the Third Trimester so far, and the ever growing fear of my ever growing belly (she is that big now and coming out of WHICH HOLE???)  I am excited and awe-struck at the impending reality of being a parent.  All those other days where you feel like ripping your hair out – isn’t that why God made GRANDPARENTS????  🙂