Insane job description

Job postings, especially those in the IT field, often have a pretty broad set of “requirements” that actually aren’t requirements, but a laundry list of every skill, software, and programming language that the hiring company could think of that they use currently, have used in the past, or may possibly use in the future. About one out of every hundred thousand candidates out there may have, say, 75% of the listed requirements. They also can demand a ridiculous salary which the hiring company is generally not equipped to pay.

I found one of these recently by none other than our own United Way of Buffalo and Erie County. Check this out.

Primary Function: Support network hardware and end-user hardware including servers, backup devices, desktops, laptops, printers and PDAs. Support server and user applications. Support HVAC, building security, and hold music hardware and software. Also support corporate SQL & Access databases with particular emphasis on learning the existing client interface and assisting in developing custom front-end interfaces and web-based reports in web-browsers, Microsoft Access and Crystal Reports.

Ok… so they want someone who can do PC and network hardware, server and client apps, physical plant apps, telecomm, databases, web design, and user interface design. That pretty much covers every aspect of IT. But wait… there’s more!

Duties & Responsibilities:

1. *Installs or assists with installation of hardware including servers, PC’s, printers, scanners, PDAs, etc.
2. *Installs or assists with installation of server and desktop operating systems, utilities and applications.
3. *Diagnoses system (includes all servers, PCs, printers, scanners, PDAs) hardware, software and user problems. Recommends or performs minor actions to correct problems based on knowledge of system operation. Notifies supervisor of errors or equipment failure. Calls appropriate vendor for service when problem cannot be resolved internally. Maintains record of problems and actions taken.
4. *Assists with Microsoft Active Directory design, implementation and security. Assists in Nortel VPN security/Stateful Firewall security. Assist in Router, Switch, Hub, and Server configuration. Assists in backup and recovery procedures. Assists in user creation and deletion on all systems.
5. *Learns, uses and maintains our enterprise database application including it’s built-in web utilities and maintenance and management tools.
6. *Expands functionality of enterprise databases by designing, developing, testing client interfaces as defined by IT and constituent users in collaborative environment.
7. *Manages and enhances custom-built corporate performance review Access database.
8. *Supports physical plant technologies including, but not limited to HVAC software, Building Security Camera Network software, Phone System Hold Music software.
9. *Establishes and maintains relationships with existing vendors with whom we have service agreements with.*Attends technical conferences and seminars and reads relevant publications to keep abreast of new software and hardware product development. Keeps abreast of changes in user and system software and hardware requirements.
10. *IT Team – Supports the internal IT team, as a contributing member, with knowledge and updates of all job-related material.
11. *Assists in implementation of overall IT policies, procedures, standards. Recommends changes and improvements.
12. *Maintains established departmental policies, procedures and objectives.
13. *Attends organizational, departmental and committee meetings as directed.
14. *Participates in building wide activities such as Day of Caring, etc.
15. Attends training as needed.
16. Performs general office duties such as typing, filing, data entry, opening mail, etc.
17. Job related travel to designated meetings and events throughout the community.
18. Performs other duties as requested.

You need to be the installer, troubleshooter, vendor interface, AD specialist, network/firewall guru, and security specialist… when you’re not in meetings, conferences, implementing policies, in training, filing, opening mail, traveling, or (of course) participating in the Day of Caring. Sounds like quite the workout.

But wait… there’s more

Qualification Requirements: Must possess a complete and passionate commitment to and understanding of a full service United Way. Team facilitation and shared decision-making experience needed. Proven ability to work in collaboration with others toward a common goal. Ability to embrace change and enable others to see the need for change. Ability to use technology effectively to complete the job. Experience should include but not be limited to the following essential qualifications for this position: ? Experience with the following software including: Microsoft SQL Server 2005, , Microsoft IIS, Crystal Reports, Javascript, Macromedia JRun, Adobe Acrobat, Adobe Photoshop, , Active Directory, Backup Exec, Microsoft Office 2000/2007, Microsoft Project Server, Project Pro, Microsoft Visio, Microsoft SMS Server, Microsoft WSUS, Symantec Antivirus, Microsoft Exchange, Windows Mobile ? Ability to coordinate with internal and external groups. ? ** Experience with web development tools including the following: ASP, .NET, VB, C++, HTML, JSP, XML, Flash, PHP and Content Management software would also be beneficial to the successful candidate. Education and/or experience: The individual must possess one of the following: – A Bachelor?s degree in Computer Science AND 2-4 years of experience or – An Associates degree in Computer Science AND 3-5 years of experience or – MCSE and 2-5 years experience – PC knowledge in both hardware and software. – Demonstrates excellent problem solving abilities, organizational skills, oral and written communication skills, initiative, self-direction and self-sufficiency. Language: Ability to read, analyze, and interpret general business periodicals, professional journals, technical procedures, or governmental regulations. Ability to write reports, business correspondence, and procedure manuals. Ability to effectively present information and respond to questions from groups of managers, customers, and the general public. Math: Ability to add, subtract, multiply and divide in all units of measure. Reasoning: Ability to define problems, collect data, establish facts, and draw valid conclusions. Ability to interpret a variety of instructions furnished in written, oral, diagram, or schedule form.

I wonder how many candidates have the 28 “essential qualifications” listed above, yet fail on the “ability to add, subtract, multiply and divide”. Moreso, I wonder why they didn’t just list Microsoft Calculator as qualification 29.

What would you pay a person with this incredible depth of knowledge? Literally, the one man IT department?

Salary Information: $35,000 – $45,000 Annually. Excellent Benefits

I bet they’re beating down the door for that job.

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  1. I’m friends with the person who previously had this job…and really, it wasn’t so insane. PLUS one must always remember that you are working for the United Way, I would hope that donors would rather see their dollars going to help the community instead of going to an IT person, one of the pitfalls for working for a non profit. BUT you also get to work for a non profit, in an incredibly supportive work environment, with flexible hours and work at home and even paid time off to volunteer in the community a few hours a month. The trade offs can’t be seen in a job description, and most job descriptions I have come across are always wildly padded.

  2. The job itself may not be insane, but the description certainly is. IT folk are often responsible for a huge range of loosely related things, but that doesn’t mean you should try to convey all of those in a job description. The United Way would be well served by rewriting the job posting to list the key competencies they’re looking for and use less absolute sounding wording, like “experience with any of the following is helpful”. Job descriptions like this will only serve to scare away many prospective, potentially qualified candidates.

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