All the Interesting Things Happen When Derek is not Home

This is an honest to God testimony of what has just been my evening.

It all started with a baby-style late-after dinner poop. I smelled it when she was playing next to me before bath time. (Cursed Mama nose!) No big deal, these things happen. Since it was almost bath time anyway, I took her upstairs to clean her up and get her in the tub. Instead of putting a new cloth diaper on her, I decided to just let her run around in the bathroom naked while I got the tub ready.

I ran out of the room for honestly 15 seconds to grab the phone out of our bedroom just in case someone called. When I got back into the room I noticed that there was something large, brown, and slimy looking on the floor that hadn’t been there before. I thought, “Oh Shit!” and then promptly realized that it was in fact poop on the floor. Not the “easy to pick up with a wad of toilet paper” either. 🙂

She of course has stepped in the poop by this point and is reveling in the fact that her foot now slides around on the linoleum. Lovely. I pick her up, put her in the bathtub to get her cleaned up, and take care of the floor.

Bath time actually is a lot of fun, despite the mess. After she is all clean and pruny, I dry her off and get her pj’s on and into the crib so I can go downstairs and get her milk ready. Downstairs, I realize that there are no more clean nipples for her bottles. So I get the water hot, get them all soapy and the water runs out. (We have well water out here in Holland-land)

When the water runs out here, you have to wait an indeterminate amount of time for the pump to fill back up. So now I have a toilet with poop in it, because if you flush the toilet while running water into the bathtub it can get very hot, no water to rinse my soapy nipples (go ahead and giggle here), a full load of cloth diapers in the washer that now is half full of rinsing water, a baby who only drank half her milk at bedtime because she doesn’t like milk from a sippy cup spout, and my bladder decides then to make it known that I REALLY have to pee (which I did only to forget about the water and FLUSH).

End of story – the water is back, cloth diapers are clean, baby is sleeping, nipples are no longer soapy, and Derek is home.