Darwin is calling

A couple Darwin Awards came up that Buffalo’s scavengers should take notice of. First, Steel is Gold:

Steel is valuable, especially the high grade alloy used in steel cable. Scrap metal dealers do not ask questions. They pay in cash. And a good supply of cables can be found in elevator shafts.

This particular goldmine was a towering shaft inside an empty grainery near Zatec, 40 miles northwest of Prague. The cable was tightly fastened, and the far end of it disappeared into the shadowy distance above.

After substantial wear and tear on a hacksaw, our man finally cut through the strong steel cable. At that instant, the counterbalance, no longer held in check, started to move silently downwards, accelerating until it reached the bottom of the shaft.

Result: one proud winner of a “terminal velocity” Darwin Award.

There’s also this one, which could easily have taken place in Buffalo with the recent occurrences of power cable thefts:

Police are hunting for a badly scorched would-be copper thief after finding a hacksaw embedded in an 11,000 volt power cable. The thief, who also left a lit blow torch at the scene, is presumed to be badly charred, and not the brightest bulb in the socket.

Copper prices have more than doubled in the last four years, sparking a wave of copper thefts across the globe. Thieves targeting copper wire and copper pipes have led to many fatalities and serious injuries.

“The sheer stupidity of cutting through power cables should be glaringly obvious to everyone,” said a spokesperson for the power company. “At the very least, it would have created an almighty bang and showered him with molten copper.”

800 customers were left without power for several hours.

I’m guessing it won’t be long before we have our own local nominee.