Now I feel the only words that come out of my mouth are – “No! Don’t do that! Put that DOWN! STOP doing that! Listen to me child!” and the like. I feel like the bad Mama. But lately all Ariella seems to do is get into trouble. Exploring, necessary, trouble. She is starting to tell ME what to do.

Yesterday as I made dinner I hear her telling me, “Wipe it up, Mama! Wipe it UP, Mama!” Then I realized that I was suddenly smelling chocolate. She had grabbed my can of baking cocoa and opened it. All over my kitchen floor. We have a berber CARPET in our kitchen. Then she was stepping in it and leaving little, cute, brown footprints all over everything.

Lesson learned from this? 1. Don’t leave the pantry door open. 2. Baking cocoa does NOT come out of berber carpet. There are STILL cute, little, brown footprints all over my kitchen.  3. Baking cocoa will clog up your vacuum filter. *Sigh* I love my daughter so much, and I need to do more gentle teaching with her. I feel like I am super frustrated at every turn. And this is only with ONE!!!!!

Heaven help me. The terrible two’s are upon me and I feel like I have no “tricks” up my sleeve! Is there a seminar, or class I can go to on how to survive this? And honestly, at the same time, I am loving every minute of it! Is that normal?

I am currently at eight weeks along and feeling sick as a dog again. Wish I could say differently, but it’s just not the case! So far, both our Birthdays have been dialed down to bare minimum, and housework and potty training have been neglected more than ever. It has now been four weeks of feeling nauseous and I am beginning to lose my mind.

However, I am very lucky in the fact that I have the most wonderful Husband on the planet. He has truly taken over most of my duties when I am too ill to do them myself. This would be – dinner, dishes, some laundry, many baby duties, and gently rubbing my back to help me go to sleep as well. All this after working a full day, driving 40 minutes each way and having his own work to accomplish at home. Which he has also been getting done. I cannot say enough about this man I Married and how much I appreciate his caring for us during this first trimester!

I keep telling myself that there are only four more weeks to go until the second trimester. But do you know how long off that seems right now? Keeping myself focused is becoming more and more difficult with feeling worse each day, but Ariella is helping with that. We have been watching far too much TV for my liking lately also. It is usually HGTV or Food Network when it’s not Sesame Street, but still I HATE doing that. She’ll tell me, “Turn it off, Mama!” when she gets bored with my shows though, so I guess that is a good thing! She would rather be outside. Thank GOD for that!

So I guess to sum up I should say, here’s to the next four weeks – may it go by quickly, and without too much fuss. I am ready to be excited for this new baby’s arrival finally!!

We stopped in a little Trattoria for lunch and got sandwiches. When I got mine and looked at it I was fearing the worst. No dressing on it, only a piece of prosciutto, cheese and a sad looking piece of lettuce. This was going to be awful. But when I took the first bite, I was in heaven!! It was honestly the best sandwich I had ever tasted! The flavor was just amazing, without mustard or anything we drown our sandwiches in here. I can still taste it!

We continued walking through the high class shopping district, with its many, many stores, turned a corner and there it was. The Duomo. I have been to many cathedrals and churches in both Spain and England but this was amazing. Sagrada Familia is unbelievable too, but we couldn’t go inside that when we went with the Chamber Choir from Buffalo State. This cathedral was just beautiful! The detailing on the stone was incredible, especially when viewed from up close on the roof!

That is exactly where we headed – to the roof, which was impressive to be on. You would swear you were walking through streets way up there! There were doorways and steps taking you to different levels and to different sections. Every inch of the stone walls were covered with gargoyle heads, leaves, shells, snakes, lizards, and strange creatures thought up by the imaginative carvers. You think you are seeing a lot from down below, but up there on the roof it is a completely different world!

The inside of the church is very impressive too. There you can see how tall it really is, and the carvings and decorations were amazing as well! It is so massive, that there was a mist hanging over the alter! The quiet and peace a church brings you always stuns me. A very beautiful place to worship. Which we were able to do two days later.

That night we had an amazing dinner at another Trattoria. Yeah, pasta in Italy is just mouth watering. Yes, I had meat sauce on a Friday in Lent. Sue me.

The next day Derek and I walked to the Casetllo Sforzesco and went through all the museums housed there. Derek only wanted to see the Musical Instrument museum, which we couldn’t find, but we DID get to see up close and personal some actual mummies from Egypt, some impressive crypts, AND the last work of Michelangelo – the Rondanini Pieta. This was the piece he was working on when he died, and is unfinished. Walking through these museums pretty much took us through late afternoon after which we headed to St. Ambrosio church and saw his bones lying in the crypt there. Pretty creepy, but nice in a morbid Catholic way, I guess.

The next day was Sunday and we went to Mass with Mark and Ann at the Duomo, then packed up our things, and met Sandro to drive us back to the airport and got onto a flight to Germany!

To be continued…..

I’ll start with the day Derek was supposed to leave. His flight from Buffalo to Newark was canceled due to weather and we got an extra night with him. He ended up getting to Madrid a day late and had to go right into work after his 7 hour car trip to Newark (didn’t want to chance another cancellation) and then 8 hour plane ride to Madrid. I don’t know how he did it, but my man is awesome!

This of course made me even more nervous about getting to Europe on my own, but fortunately for me all my flights were right on time! I have a difficult time sleeping on planes, so even though I did close my eyes a bit on the way there, it was a very loooong flight. Especially for someone who has not flown anywhere in at least three years. Thankfully, Derek had pre-paid for a ride for me to our hotel from Milpensa airport near Milan. They would be waiting for me with my name on a sign right outside the baggage claim.

Unfortunately for jet-lagged, no sleep me, that person never showed up. Also unfortunately for me, I only know a few “key” phrases in Italian, AND had no clue how to use my international cell phone yet. So when the taxi driver came up to me and asked if I needed a ride, I went into a whirlwind of English explaining my predicament. He did not speak English. BUT very close by there WAS someone who spoke English and he not only helped me try and find the person I was looking for, for 25 minutes, but ended up driving me to our hotel.

Sandro was a wonderful guide and kept me awake by asking me all sorts of questions about the US and where we live. It did take us about two hours to get to the hotel because traffic was extremely heavy at that time of day, but it was an enjoyable ride!

By the time I got into the hotel room I was simply exhausted. I worshiped the shower for ten whole minutes and then fell into bed for a four hour nap. Next thing I knew, Derek was back from work and we were off for some sightseeing!

To be continued……..

“Ariella has such a sincerely happy personality. She is always so upbeat, even when she hurts herself. If anyone ever changes that about her, and I find out who it is,  I will stand up on a chair and kick them in the face.”

You have to know my Mother to understand that this statement is a very strong testament of her love for her Granddaughter. My Mother never swears, is very soft spoken, and sometimes you have to look twice to even know she’s ‘s in the room. Her quote next to her senior picture in her yearbook (waaaaay back when) said ‘Quiet waters run deep’. That quote was picked by the yearbook staff, not her.

In other words, I hope no one ever messes with our daughter. I think Gramma would act on this statement no matter how old she is!

It all started with a baby-style late-after dinner poop. I smelled it when she was playing next to me before bath time. (Cursed Mama nose!) No big deal, these things happen. Since it was almost bath time anyway, I took her upstairs to clean her up and get her in the tub. Instead of putting a new cloth diaper on her, I decided to just let her run around in the bathroom naked while I got the tub ready.

I ran out of the room for honestly 15 seconds to grab the phone out of our bedroom just in case someone called. When I got back into the room I noticed that there was something large, brown, and slimy looking on the floor that hadn’t been there before. I thought, “Oh Shit!” and then promptly realized that it was in fact poop on the floor. Not the “easy to pick up with a wad of toilet paper” either.

She of course has stepped in the poop by this point and is reveling in the fact that her foot now slides around on the linoleum. Lovely. I pick her up, put her in the bathtub to get her cleaned up, and take care of the floor.

Bath time actually is a lot of fun, despite the mess. After she is all clean and pruny, I dry her off and get her pj’s on and into the crib so I can go downstairs and get her milk ready. Downstairs, I realize that there are no more clean nipples for her bottles. So I get the water hot, get them all soapy and the water runs out. (We have well water out here in Holland-land)

When the water runs out here, you have to wait an indeterminate amount of time for the pump to fill back up. So now I have a toilet with poop in it, because if you flush the toilet while running water into the bathtub it can get very hot, no water to rinse my soapy nipples (go ahead and giggle here), a full load of cloth diapers in the washer that now is half full of rinsing water, a baby who only drank half her milk at bedtime because she doesn’t like milk from a sippy cup spout, and my bladder decides then to make it known that I REALLY have to pee (which I did only to forget about the water and FLUSH).

End of story – the water is back, cloth diapers are clean, baby is sleeping, nipples are no longer soapy, and Derek is home.

The day of our good friend Suzy’s Wedding, I found out I was pregnant again.  We went to Suzy and Rob’s Wedding so full of joy, and feeling like we were on top of the world! And we were so good, we didn’t tell anyone except our parents. There were plenty of opportunities too, when other friends of ours asked us if we were thinking of having more children. We just looked at each other and said – ‘Maybe, we’ll see what happens!’

As it turns out, it was a better thing that we never said anything to anyone. The next day, I started Miscarrying, and lost the baby on that Tuesday. If I didn’t pay so close attention to my cycle, I never would have even known I was pregnant again. But me being 5 days late NEVER happens.

But that began a whole series of bloodwork, and learning a whole lot about pregnancy hormones in the meantime, in order to decifer what the doctor was telling us was going on. They kept telling me, ‘If you are in a lot of pain, take Tylenol – NOT Ibuprofin, just in case the pregnancy takes.’ JUST IN CASE??? They were remaining hopeful even though they were telling me it was most likely a miscarriage. (Or threatened abortion, as they wrote on my chart. Which let me tell you this Roman Catholic Conservative just thought was awesome! )

How can doctors do that? Tell you not to hope it will take, but at the same time tell you to avoid something just in case? I know they have to cover their asses, but that just does horrible thing to a possible Mom-To-Be-Again’s brain! And all the things they tell you – that it’s not your fault, you can’t screw up a pregnancy that easily or abortion wouldn’t be an issue (everyone would just drink too much, or go swing dancing as in our case at the Wedding to get rid of an unwanted pregnancy), or that there was something not right with the fertilized egg and your body gets rid of it on purpose, and that there is nothing they can do.  None of that mattered to me. And it only gives a momentary measure of comfort now. As the Mom, you can’t help thinking that something you did made this happen.

A few weeks later, all my tests came back negative. Negative for pregnancy that is. It was here and gone so fast I hardly knew it had happened! Now that our mandatory waiting period for trying again is over, I just keep wondering if maybe it was a sign from God, that we shouldn’t try again. Was it a warning that I won’t be able to handle two kids? Overall, it seems more difficult to deal with now than it did when it was actually happening. PLUS I’m super scared that if I do get pregnant again, will it take? Will I have to go through that again? Is there something wrong?

Now to the Blessings – I look at Ariella so differently now. To get pregnant with her and have no major issues, and be watching her grow into the beautiful little girl she is makes me so thankful. It is such a miracle to be able to do this ‘Mama Thing’, and makes me proud to be a woman who was at least Blessed to have done it once in my lifetime.

I truly do pray for all the Mothers who have lost a child, no matter when or how. It is not an easy thing to get through.

She calls our cat by his name – Isis. Ok, so she says ‘Ice’ because the last ‘is’ is difficult for her. But she comprehends that the cat has a name, and can approximate the saying of it. She stands at the door, like Mama does countless times during the day, and calls for him to come inside too!

There is LOTS of generalization going on with her! My parents also have a cat. His name is Max. While she can say Max, if you ask her to ‘Call Max’ she immediately says ‘Ice!’ with the smoochy calling a cat noise, and goes to their back door. Now this is interesting because it is a roundabout generalization. She not only knows that we have a cat, but that the animal my parents have is also a cat, and therefore calls him Isis like she does at home – generalizing the whole cat routine.

She understands that some things are shaped the same way, and will try to put all her ‘circular’ toys into the circle hole in her shape sorter. Most of the time they get stuck because they are too big, but she tries just the same.

When she has a cold, or a runny nose, she will blow her nose into a tissue. Not each and every time, but she knows there’s stuff in there that needs to come out, and she will blow to get it out. Actually, she does that sometimes whether or not she HAS said tissue. More fun clean up for Mama!

If her food is too hot, she will blow on it to cool it off like Mama does.

The other day in Wegmans, I made the horrible mistake of letting her see me put bananas in the cart. Seeing that this is one of her favorite foods and words to say, she immediately wanted those bananas! I gave her the bunch, which of course was my second mistake. I didn’t weigh them so I couldn’t give her one and was trying my best to ignore her pleas of ‘Ba-NANA’. Suddenly, she took my hand, flipped it over and put a banana into it. She looked at me pointedly and said very clearly “BA-NANA!” as if to say, ‘Hello, Lady! You peel this and feed it to me, remember?’

She just started giving ‘real’ hugs and kisses too! If you ask her for a kiss, she puckers up and gives you a kiss on the lips. Her hugs are getting longer and bigger as well.

Another awesome thing that started this Tuesday in fact, is saying her name! It is a basic apporoximation, but anyone listening would not be able to argue that she is in fact saying – ‘Ariella’, even though she adds a few more l’s into that verbalization. So cute!

All of these things are normal progression. It’s just that I didn’t expect my ONE year old to be doing them! I have taught in many a Preschools over the years, and this just seems to be a bit more than she should be doing/saying/comprehending at only 1 years old! Maybe it is completely normal, I have never had a 1 year old before after all. No matter what, she will always be amazing to me, because I am her Mama.

Since then, we have recovered from surgery, pooped on lots of people, and had many, many, many firsts.  Smiling, standing, rolling over, crawling, cruising, walking, dancing, talking, eating solids, drinking from a bottle, laughing, tantrums, finding her hair, head, ears, eyes, face, toes, feet, hands, fingers, nose.  We’ve gotten through two small colds, eight teeth so far, and being passed around the Choir during church every Sunday.

A busy year would not even begin to cover what the past 365 have been like, but I as a Mother with all its happy times, and frustrations would not give up one minute of it for anything.  Can’t even imagine what the next year will bring.  Christmas will be so much fun for the next ten years or so I can’t wait!  Hopefully everything will continue to go well with everyone’s continued support, and Blessings.

Tomorrow is going to be such a busy day, this post had to come a day early, even though last year at this time I had no idea that the little love of my life was about to make her grand entrance in a day from now.  Life is only getting more exciting every day, wouldn’t you agree, Derek? 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARIELLA LOVEY LOVE!!

What really got me thinking was the song that was playing on the way home, ‘Kyrie Eleison’ by Mister Mister.  I remember way back when in 1986 when this song came out.  We were living in Saratoga Springs at the time and my Dad would find these songs that he thought were the coolest thing and buy the cd (which were new at the time and novel in themselves).  Then he would blast them on our home stereo, over and over.  This was one of those songs.

So I started thinking about how things were when I was growing up.  Even though we lived 6 hours away (speed limit was still 55 then on the NYS Thruway) our WHOLE family would come up to see us at least 6 or more times a year.  For birthdays, Holidays and just random visits to see us.  That would be my Grandmother and Aunt Fran, Gramma and Uncle Tom, Aunt Anne, Uncle Jim and then Henry with them, and of course Nick.  Our neighbors, Ted and Arlene Greve and their two kids would also join us for everything we did with our family as well.  All in all it was always 15 or more people in our house eating, drinking, telling stories, talking about life and always laughing, laughing, laughing!  I have such great memories of my time there growing up.

Things are so different now, with my Grandmother passed on, and everyone getting older.  The stories are even different, with many telling of aches and pains instead of the frivolities of yesterday.  I would like to say it’s sad, but I know this is how it goes.  That song just made me remember how important my family has always been to me, and how many good – no great – times we have had together over the years.  I guess they all just mean so much to me, it is hard to believe we are older and not where we used to be.

I owe them all so much, for all the love they gave and continue to give to me, and my family as it grows.  It will be so hard to say goodbye when the time comes, I can’t imagine life without any of them…….

Saturday we were all at the Grandparent’s Punaro for birthday celebrations, so we did not get home much before 9pm.  I had brought her nightie to their house so we changed her there, knowing she would fall fast asleep in the car.  It made it a bit easier getting her ready for bed once we did get home.

After nursing her, I put her down and she went to sleep after a few moments of whimpering.  She woke up again at 4:50, nursed and then I thought she was going to stay awake after I got back into bed.  After about ten minutes of “talking”, she was back to sleep and up again at 7am.

Day 6

Tonight was back to her “normal” schedule again.  Bath at 7:30, stories compliments of Daddy and then her Momma Milk.  When I put her down tonight, there was no whimpering, talking, sighing, or crying.  She was alseep when her head touched the matress, maybe before.

She did wake up for a few minutes a little while ago and cried a little bit, but was asleep again before we even decided if we should go and check on her.  So far, she has stayed asleep.

I am so hesitant to say that this is actually working, even though the evidence I am presenting here would confirm that.  There is nothing worse than a new parent jinxing themselves 6 nights into a good sleep pattern.  So, I will continue this blogging journey for the next few nights and let the readers decide.

I also want to assure you that I am not putting all my eggs in one basket here, and thinking that this is the end of any sleep difficulties.  She has many, many more teeth to come in, and sicknesses to have.  I am only glad at this moment for a bit of a reprieve from being awaken at various times during the night, and hoping I don’t fall off the bed in her room as I nurse her half asleep.

Here’s hoping your night is a peaceful one, full of good sleep and pleasant dreams. 

I thought that she would stay sleeping even while changing her into her PJ’s, but she did wake up.  I nursed her, put her in her crib where she was quiet for a few minutes, but did end up making some noise. The noise, however, was not all that much tonight.  It was more of a whiny-talking kind of thing instead of the screaming/crying we have had for the other few nights.  It only lasted about 10 minutes if that.  Then she stayed asleep until 3:45am.

I did get up at that point and change her diaper and feed her.  She honestly does seem hungry at these nursings, she doesn’t fall right to sleep again in my arms, or just lay there.  She is feeding quite hungrily until she has had enough, about 15-20 minutes later.  Then she does go right back to sleep.  She didn’t wake up this morning again until about 7ish, I think.  Daddy let me sleep in until 9. 

Ariella got her cereal, bath and her Momma Milk before being put down around 8:00ish.  She fussed a little bit at first but then went right to sleep, with Momma pretty much right behind her.  She woke up a few times during the night, but was able to get herself back to sleep pretty well after a few minutes.

She woke up at 2:30am crying pretty hard, I waited a few minutes, but then decided to get up and change her diaper.  Then I did feed her with the thought that she did make it through half the night wthout anything, and if she woke up again after that I would try to get her back to sleep without.  She went back to sleep without a problem, however and didn’t wake up until her usual 7am.

Not a bad night.

Day 3

Tonight we had some errands to run in the earlier evening, so she fell asleep in the car around 5 and woke up when we got home @ 5:30ish.  Therefore, I figured she would not be that tired until a bit later on.  We went without a bath tonight, as I wasn’t sure exactly when she might be ready to go to sleep.

After we made our dinner, we all sat down to eat together around 6ish. We played in her “Zoo” for a while and she was very happy and having lots of fun with Daddy.  We did not give her cereal tonight because she had a later dinner.  Around 8pm, she started getting fussy, so we got her ready for bed and Daddy read her a story.  She was very hungry so I nursed her and she seemed really sleepy, however woke up when I got up to put her into the crib.

All the information I have read tells you to put them into the crib when they are “awake but drowsy”.  This pretty much described her and I thought she might fall asleep easier after a few minutes.  Not the case.  She screamed/cried/had a tantrum for about 30 minutes.  She is sleeping right now.

This is the most difficult thing so far I have had to go through.  There is a huge part of me that thinks I should not be putting her through this.  The crying is too much and she is so small.  Then there is the other side who wants to help her get through on her own, with some semblance of independence.  I understand that she is only 6 months old, and I guess that is where part of my dichotomy comes in.   Am I doing the right thing for her?  Will she hate me in the morning?  Is she really learning something from this?  Or being put through hell just for Derek and my comfort?

We’ll try it out for a few more nights and see where we are I guess.  Derek was going from her room to me in his office, comforting us both.    God help me get through this.

Her nighttime schedule consists of the normal things, a bath around 7 or 7:30, depending on how sleepy she seems to be, a few short books, nursing and then into the crib for bed.  She usually gets herself pretty sleepy during the nursing, but last night was a totally different story.  She was not sleepy at all and was wiggling around her crib instead.  Of course when she realized where she was and what we wanted to outcome to be, she started to cry and tantrum.

So we alternated going in about every 5 minutes or so and in about 20 minutes, she was fast asleep.  And she didn’t wake up all night!  She was up at 5:30am to eat and then decided that since she was awake all ready that she may as well stay that way.

I am so confused!  I wish I knew what it was that made her stay quiet and not hungry all night long.  I did give her cereal before her bath last night, but I’ve done that before with the same twice a night feeding result.  Nothing is consistent!

Anyway, now that we have begun the journey into crying it out, we’re staying on that course until it either works, or we (I) can’t take the crying every night anymore.  I’m really hoping that this method works and we can all get some better sleep at night.

Watching a movie with the Hubby now, hoping the baby stays asleep.  Tomorrow is a day of rest for us as we are going to my parents after Church for dinner.  Should be a nice, relaxing day!

1. Washed the woodwork on all the windows downstairs and the windows themselves (that’s five rather large windows) and put the screens up in all of them.
2. Done a load of Ariella’s clothes. Cause they always seem to be dirty.
3. Done a load of whites. Cause I think Derek’s been wearing some of my underwear to work.
4. Put flea stuff on the cat.
5. Let the cat outside twice, and in the garage once.  This is not “real” work, except that he has never been outside on his own before, so I had to keep an eye on him.
6. Sang songs to Ariella to entertain her.
7. Rocked Ariella to sleep this morning for her nap.
8. Changed Ariella’s diaper 5 times, so far.
9. Nursed Ariella five times.  She is very distracted lately, so the sessions are a bit shorter, therefore more nursings because she gets hungry quicker.
10. Washed the blanket on her bed along with the blanket she threw up on earlier in the week, and the throw from the couch.
11. Put the clean dishes from the dishwasher away.
12. Loaded the dishwasher with dirty dishes.
13. Cleaned up cat puke off the rug in the kitchen.
14. Washed said rug from cat puke, and around the door where he marks his territory all the time.  Actually smells clean in my kitchen for once!
15. Made lunch for myself and Ariella.  I’ll count this as one.
16. Washed window in front door.  Inside and out.
17. Cleaned the upstairs toilet.
18. Cleaned both upstairs sinks and countertop.

I still have to:

1. Help make dinner.
2. Take laundry in and out of the washer/dryer.
3. Clean up from dinner.
4. Feed Ariella – again.
5. Give baby a bath.
6. Put baby to sleep.

I want to still:

1. Wash windows outside, so the sun can actually get into the room. 
2. Wash upper windows inside.
3. Vacuum out the chandelier and finally get rid of the dead flies in there.
4. Re-make the bed in Ella’s room so it looks neat and tidy.

I’m pretty sure that is why I am sitting here staring at the computer at the moment, and writing this blog no one is going to particularly care about. 

I guess I’ve always felt alone in this big, big world as if no one completely understands me and my point of view. Going into social situations was always awkward and as a result I was more of a wallflower type. But there is this subculture that exists and the only way to belong to it is to go through pregnancy, the birthing process and then the rigors of raising a child.  It is the subculture of “Mom”. 

My joining the “Southtowns Mom’s Meetup Group” has really changed my perspective on things.  It is unbelievable how easy it is now to walk up to a group of Moms and start talking with strangers who within minutes suddenly feel like a good friend from way back.  The topics are all easily relatable as everyone has either been through it, or is looking forward to it soon.  Advice is easy to come by, as well as understanding and commiseration.  And no matter how small an accomplishment it may be, there is always an honest “congratulations” to be given for you and your child.

This meeting, greeting and sharing makes it suddenly “easier” to be a Mom, knowing that while you may be up at 3am tending to your little one, there are other Moms not too far away, tending to their own. 

It doesn’t make you any less tired, however.

What I am proposing to myself is an ‘Accomplishment’ list.  I am going to put it next to my ‘To Do’ list and then write down the items I have done as well as cross them off my ‘To Do’.  I am thinking that by listing what I have accomplished that day it might make me feel like a better housewife and Mom.  As if I am accomplishing things in my new job, and not always being backed up with thing I feel should be done.

And perhaps it will also show me where I am going wrong with the things I am choosing to do.  It might get me a step closer to having more done and feeling like I am spending an equal amount of time with my Daughter as well as keeping up house.  Which in turn might lead to my not feeling like lead at the end of the day.  Every day.

Wish me luck!

At about 2.5 months old, Ariella was very “with it”.  She began to notice what we were doing at the dinner table (admittedly many times in front of the TV, not actually at a table) with that stuff on our plates and wanted in.  With each bite she would open her mouth like a baby bird and give you a curious look when the thing on your fork would not end up in her mouth.  I gave her little tiny tastes of things on the tip of my little finger and she would think about it and then smack her lips, always wanting more.  She also stopped sleeping through the night, so my parents said that it might be time to start.

We bought the Beech Nut three cereal pack (2 rice and 1 oatmeal) from BJ’s our next trip and 3 days past 3 months, I made some for her.  She started with one tablespoon of rice cereal mixed with one ounce of breast milk once a day.  She loved every minute of it!  We were not very strict in this first month of feedings as it was a bit early, so she didn’t necessarily get solid food every day.  But on those days when she didn’t, she sure seemed to miss it!

At her 4 month Dr. visit, everything checked out fine and they never even flinched when I told them she was eating a bit of cereal.  In fact they seemed to approve and thought she was doing quite well.  That very same day, with the approval from the doctor, we gave her squash for the first time.  Oh the faces she made!!  She was expecting the taste of cereal and got something quite different instead!  The next day was the same reaction, but now squash is one of her absolute favorite foods to eat!

Here is a general rundown of the foods she has tried with her favorites marked (not that she won’t eat the others, but is more enthusiastic with those marked):

• squash *
• apple  *
• pear
• banana  *
• carrot  *
• broccoli
• sweet potato
• prune  *
• papaya
• mango
• peach  *
• cauliflower
• parsnip

I decided when I was pregnant to make my own baby food.  This way, I know exactly what goes into it and how it was handled.  Plus it is much cheaper when we are basically buying the same items for ourselves anyway.  My Mom purchased a few cookbooks to guide me along the way, (although when you first start out everything is steamed, pureed and then frozen to have on hand) as well as a Kitchen Aid food processor for my birthday last year so I would be all set.  Another few handy items to have on hand are ice cube trays, and freezer safe storage containers for the cubes once frozen.

With the squash being the first actual “food” given to Ariella, I made sure that was the only item being given to her (besides cereal) for at least 4 days.  That way, if she did have some sort of reaction to it or it bothered her tummy, I would be able to narrow it down to what food it was we were giving her at the time.  So far so good!  Except the parsnip gave her some bad gas, so we’ve nixed that for now.

Now that she has had most tastes down without a problem, I mix a few foods together to make apple/squash, or broccoli/potato to give her a different taste.  All I can say is that this kid loves food and is willing to try anything!  Broccoli and cauliflower are not amoung her favorites and I have begun mixing them with other things to mask the taste of them so she still gets all the vitamins from them.  But for the most part, it is going exceptionally well!

Her basic eating schedule is something like this (all times are approximate as a schedule with a 5 month old is laughable):

• 7am – Breast milk
• 8:30am – Cereal (with formula now to give her a bit more to digest)
• 10am – Breast milk
• 12noon – Breast milk
• 2pm – fruit
• 4pm – Breast milk
• 5:30 or 6pm vegetable
• 7pm – Breast milk
• 8:30 or 9pm – Breast milk & bed

Sometimes there is an extra Breastfeeding in there if she is real fussy or seems thirsty or if I think she might want something to wash her food down with.  Sometimes if she seems REALLY hungry, which has happened a few times lately, I will actually give her another small bowl of cereal before her bath at night.  But this is a RARE occasion and NOT becoming habit!

Please know that I am not telling anyone out there to try it the way I have described here, or that this is the right way to do things.  This is how MY daughter did things and so far it is working wonderfully for us.  Every child is different and will take to food the way they are going to.

Now she is reaching and at times grabbing our plates to try and take the food on them!  Our little girl loves food and has my metabolism to boot so she is hungry constantly!  Neither Derek now I have any food allergies and so far Ariella does not seem to either.  To everyone reading this who might just be beginning the food journey with your own child, good luck and buy lots of bibs!

But what goes through my mind more than anything else is how many times this could have been me waiting for Derek to come home from as far away as Asia or Europe.  How many times have I stood in the exact same spot that these families were standing, waiting for their loved ones to come off the plane and walk down the aisle to them.  How many times have any of us stood there, waiting.  I can only imagine their pain when they found that there would be no one coming to meet them there this time.

Perhaps it is because I am a new Mommy now, but I am so completely grateful that my Husband came home from work today safe and sound.  All the while, however, feeling a bit of the pain that those victim’s families feel tonight.  If only there was some way to take that away from them, from anyone feeling that unrelenting hurt in their souls tonight.  Last night at this time, they were just going about their normal business, looking forward to seeing someone again.  Not even those getting on the plane knew it would be their last departure.

Hug your families tonight.  Long and hard.  Say I Love You more than once and mean it with every fiber of your being.