Anne Waligur

My Aunt Anne had a stroke in June of 2010. After that it was up and down, a true emotional roller coaster for everyone in the family, until her passing on July 12, 2011. At almost 82 years old I can’t say she “went before her time”, but when it is a close family member you always wish for more time. She was a loving soul, adopting her younger sister Linda’s son as her own after she passed. A Girl Scout leader, she was always singing camp songs and giving out good advice, much of which I still remember and try to teach my own girls. She sang in her church choir, was a docent at the Botanical Gardens and had many beloved friends. Her gift to me upon her death was the ruby ring her father gave to her for her 16th Birthday. She wore it every day of her life and I remember seeing it on her. She was my Aunt and I loved her very much. She will be missed this Holiday season.

Ryan Jones

Unfortunately, I did not know Ryan that well. He went to college with Derek and I met him a few times, usually at the yearly picnic – “Ocho”. He had health problems that ultimately landed him in a coma, which he was fighting, until his untimely passing this October. He was the fiddler for the Country group ‘Lo Cash Cowboys’. The one time spent with him at Ocho that I do remember was him playing acoustic guitar and everyone singing ‘Moxy Fruvous’ songs with him, laughing and having a great time. I honestly don’t even know if he knew my name, but he friended me on Facebook, probably because I am Derek’s wife. When someone so young, with his entire life ahead of him passes it really makes you stop and reevaluate your own time here on Earth. My thoughts and prayers are still with his family and friends, he was lost all too soon.

Ed McGrath

Ed’s passing is still very fresh, he has only been gone two weeks today. He was a member of our choir at church. Sang Bass with Derek and my Dad. We were not close friends, but he was so kind, thoughtful and fun to be around. It gets personal, even if you are not “close” with a person, when you sing together. There is something about being in a choir (as I am sure it is with any musical group) that pulls people closer together. You are using a part of yourself that is very personal. When you work so hard on making this music together with your voice, it binds you to those other people. It is a shared experience that is unmatched. Therefore, when one voice is missing, after working so hard on a piece, it is felt very deeply. At the Funeral four our friend Ed, I did not cry. I was very sad, but he was not supposed to be singing that day, with us. I cried a lot the day before, on Sunday, when he SHOULD have been there, signing the songs he had worked so hard to make beautiful with us. On that day, and this weekend as well, his voice was missing and it SHOULD have been there with us. I am constantly praying for his family, that God may give them peace during this time.

All in all, I am really hoping that 2012 will not have as many goodbye’s in it. But I guess these are my three for now. Rest In Eternal Peace, all of you. You are missed in many ways.

I contacted and am fostering them for Buffalo Paws and Claws for the next few weeks until they are old enough to go to PetCo to be adopted out. UNLESS someone out there is looking for a kitten to adopt!

There are 4 in all, 5 weeks old. Three male, one female. Two males are grey with stripes, one male is calico like Mama and so is the female. They are adorable and their pics should be up soon at Buffalo Paws and Claws website (Dawn was here last night and gave them all their de-wormer, flea meds and clipped their claws). Mama is also going to be adopted out, but she’ll be waiting a bit longer than her kittens. She is only maybe 2 years old and SUCH a sweetheart, even called her kittens over to me and sat on my lap so they’d know I was OK!

If you think you might be interested, either e-mail me, or contact Buffalo Paws and Claws directly and let them know you want one of “Amanda Punaro’s Cats”. If you need to be pursuaded by cuteness and soft fur, e-mail meand let me know when you want to come by to take a look at them for yourself! I would really rather them be adopted out from here than have to go through the stress of being put in cages and in PetCo, which can be scary. We will have them here, as I said, for the next two weeks if anyone is interested in coming by to take a look.

Thanks!

As I approached and exceeded 8 months of getting 2 – 3 hours of sleep a night due to a nursing baby every 2 hours, I finally gave in to the feeling that it was time to wean our little one. This is such a bittersweet thing to do. I immensely enjoyed nursing both our girls and was extremely happy I was able to do so. I never had any issues while nursing our latest edition and I even contemplated going longer with her than I had with the first. It just wasn’t meant to be.

The first few days I only gave her bottles during the day, to see if she would make a big fuss or not. She was still up all night long for the comfort of Mama. The first night she had a bottle after her bath I got a little nervous, she was so wide awake I thought she would never fall asleep! But a few minutes of her fussing a bit in her crib, she was out. She woke up at 12:30 or 1:30am and I nursed her (which at this point was at least 8 oz with how engorged I was!) which of course put her right back to sleep. Except that 2 hours later, there she was again wailing and complaining. The next night I decided to give her a bottle instead. She slept right through her “normal” feeding! It was a nice, solid, five hour stretch. This was something that has not happened I don’t think ever!

I know, I never should have been nursing her to sleep in the first place. It didn’t start out that way I assure you. If you have ever tried to wake a newborn while nursing, you know all the tricks they give you don’t always work! I attempted to remedy this with the ‘Baby Whisperer’ E.A.S.Y. method which worked for a bit, but even through this she was still up – screaming – every two hours at night after her initial long stretch once putting her down. I gave her cereal before bed, changed diapers, walked her, didn’t walk her, kept her in the crib rubbing her back, let her cry a bit before going in to soothe her again. Nothing was working. I asked her doctor about it, at each of her appointments worried that maybe I wasn’t producing enough milk or maybe not good enough milk to sustain her for longer periods. She only told me that it was my child’s temperament and that I had to persevere through the crying and just not feed her. Her weight certainly attested to the fact that my milk was enough for her to live on and she was always the happiest baby no matter what during the day – no colic or digestion problems here.

So, for the past five days at least, I have been EXTREMELY uncomfortable (cabbage leaves in the bra, pumping once a day to relieve the pressure) but things have been going very well. I am amazed at how easily this child adapts to different situations and how she has very rarely fussed over being given a bottle instead of me. Perhaps she’ll need therapy later for the “trauma” of being denied the breast, but for now her successes since the weaning are a testament to the fact it was time.

She can now put herself back to sleep without us needing to get out of bed and pick her up. She is sleeping better through the night and has even been put back to sleep without a bottle several times. She is enjoying more intimate time with other members of her family, Daddy, Grandma and others will soon follow I am sure.

This is a sad thing for me mainly because this is most likely our last child to be nursed. I do miss the closeness and the special feeling that only I could do this for my child. However, you have to wean your child at some point and for us this was the moment. She was only two weeks earlier than her sister (and she was weaned after she bit me with her new teeth!) and I am proud that we were able to make it past the 6 months they say is most beneficial. The benefits have certainly outweighed any physical or emotional drawbacks I have been feeling so far!

Once I started to make my own food, her appetite and interest in the food I was giving her completely turned around. Now I have made her everything from fruits, vegetables, and meats and she LOVES every bite! I have even pureed some of our own dinners for her to try.

Tonight she had ground beef, sweet potatoes and tomatoes. A few nights ago it was Cod with an orange sauce. Lunches have included chicken with apples and avocado slices to help her learn to chew.

While Gerber is a great stand by, nothing beats making your own meals for enticing your baby’s taste buds and giving her a great start to healthy, happy mealtimes.

He sat me down and asked me to open the eggs to find the candy inside. I opened a few and then stopped, but he made me continue telling me there were different candies in each egg. There were at least 30 eggs in the basket.

I kept opening them to find jelly beans, chocolates and malt balls. All the while I was thinking – this is silly, why am I opening all these eggs? Then, I got to the last egg. It was yellow and all the way on the bottom of the basket. I felt relieved, no more eggs to open!! I was extremely surprised when I opened it and found not candy but a DIAMOND ring nested in Easter grass. When I looked over at Derek, he was all ready on one knee in front of me.

The next day I went out with friends and bought my Wedding Dress, had a few halls contacted and had the church on hold. I can’t believe nine years has come and gone since that day. Derek made me the happiest I can remember being on that day and every day since.

7:30am – In shower getting ready for last OB appointment before my scheduled C-Section that upcoming Thursday, contractions began to get more frequent and strong. This was something I was quite used to at this point, after all my false labor and daily Braxton-Hicks bouts. So upon getting dressed, I began to keep track of them – again. Figured it wouldn’t hurt seeing that I was on my way to the doctor anyway.

By the time we were getting out coats on, Derek looked at me and said, “Do you think we should take the hospital bag, just in case?” I shrugged and answered, “Couldn’t hurt.” The contractions were not really letting up, but not bothering me too much either. I kept on writing times and intensities down anyway and ran upstairs to get my glasses and contact case again, ‘just in case’.

8:20am – arrived at my parents house with Ariella in tow and all packed up. I was still timing and writing. Every time I thought I was in the clear, another one would come on a bit stronger than the last one. I didn’t bother getting out of the car. It hurt too much and we were running very late to the doctors.

8:35am – arrived at Hamburg OBGYN, got the closest spot we could (thank God), got my little cup to pee in and headed to the bathroom. I was a bit nervous at this point, because the contractions kept coming and in the back of my head a little voice kept telling me this was it, that they would send me in. I kept arguing with that voice, however telling it that I wasn’t really ready to have a baby that day and I was only getting my hopes up anyway.

8:50am – Got called in to see Dr. Z. Got weighed (172lbs, which hadn’t changed in two weeks), got situated in the room, heard Cambree’s heart beating strongly and then waited for the doc to come in. Not sure what Derek and I talked about then, but I think we argued about something baby related. A few minutes later, Dr. Z. walked in and asked how things were going. I told him about the contractions going on all morning at this point and he said, “Why don’t we send you in and see what happens? If you go in and the contractions keep going like this we’ll do the section today, if they die off, we’ll see you Thursday anyway.” I must have looked a bit spooked, but he kept reassuring me I was only going in to be monitored and that if they did take her that day she would be fine; I was turing 39 weeks the next day. I checked out and made my 6 week appointment with Dr. Z, because I wanted to make sure it was done and Thursday was when I was going to have the baby.

9:50am – I called my parents from the car on the way to the Hospital to let them know we would not be coming right back to the house to pick up Ariella. My Mom was very calm and cool on the phone with me and told me to let them know how things were going.

10:15am – Derek dropped me off at the bridge to the lobby where I waited, still keeping track, until he found a parking spot. Five minutes later he came to meet me and we did our walk to the elevators and up to Labor & Delivery. “We’re checking in!” he told them for the third time this pregnancy and they buzzed us through. When we walked in through the second set of doors and asked for my name, they smiled and exclaimed “Oh! It’s our C-Section!”

My face must have betrayed my panic when I told them, “I’m just here to be monitored.” Because the Nurse taking us to the room said, “Oh, Dr. Z. called and told us you were having contractions and they were delivering you today!” The other Nurses at the station asked me, “Don’t you want to have your baby today?” I was honest with them and said, “I’m a bit nervous about the surgery,” and then we were whisked away into a L&D room.

From there everything moved very quickly, but calmly. They listened to me when I told them again what Dr. Z.had told us at the office, I was only there to be monitored and if it looked like something was happening THEN they would be doing the surgery. But then Dr. C. (who was on call that day) came into the room and basically told me that with all the contractions I was having and the risk of rupture and the fact that I was basically 39 weeks and my section was scheduled only three days away they wanted to just go ahead and get me in before their 1:30pm scheduled section. That everything would be fine, they would take good care of me, the baby was ready and it was a good day to be born.

The Nurse came in with the IV, they took the monitors off me and prepped me for surgery. They gave Derek his little outfit, and gave him instructions about what was going to happen and we got in touch with UNYTS about going in early so I could still donate my placenta. They were able to get someone there quickly.

Derek and I only had a few moments alone before anything was going to be in motion. He made phone calls to Grandparents and made sure I was ok. I asked him if he was ok too and he was not even nervous. That I could tell. Before I knew it, it was time to walk to the OR, which happened to be right next door. I thought I would have more time before being confronted with that room, but it was so close and so cold, sterile and right there in front of me. Wow, this was actually going to happen!

My Anesthesiologist was an older foreign gentleman who did not say much and had me extremely nervous. I was surprised I wasn’t passing out at this point knowing what was coming, but I got up onto the table and did what he told me to do. Getting the Spinal was not fun, I felt way too much of it for my liking, but it took effect immediately and I was completely numb before I knew it. Trying to get quickly numbing legs onto that little skinny table is not an easy task, let me tell you. As the Spinal took effect I did almost pass out, but whatever adjustment was made got me back quickly. And after that it was almost fun!

Dr. C. came in and talked with me while he prepped my belly, made sure I couldn’t feel anything and then they started. Derek came in a few minutes later and I almost broke his poor hand squeezing it so tightly. But I was amazed at how good I felt! No passing out, no pain, I even asked for a sandwich because I hadn’t eaten anything all morning (just in case). I kept telling Dr. C. “Just tell me she’s beautiful!”

12:13pm – After a little bit of pulling and tugging, everyone congratulated us at once with “It’s definitely a girl! And she’s beautiful!” I almost remember cheering, but I’m sure that was just in my head! Then I heard her crying, screaming for air, and they held her up to me so I could see her. My eyes welled up and I said hello to our Cambree for the first time. What an experience! She screamed so much and so loudly that everyone was commenting about her lung capacity. It was amazing! Derek ran back with his camera to take pictures and video while I laughed with everyone else about her high octave range. I’ve never heard a newborn scream so much!

The rest of the surgery went relatively quickly, Dr. C. yelled at me for being too skinny and him not having any fat to sew up with and I was still asking for food. They wheeled me back into the L&D room I had been in before and Cambree was there minutes later. She nursed right away, latching on without any difficulty. I got my sandwich, and still felt great! I couldn’t feel anything from my boobs down! About two hours later they gave me pain meds and took me to my room.

All in all, I was amazed at how everything went exactly as I had really wanted it to. I guess I did in fact go into labor, albeit the early stages of it and they found the uterine lining to be extremely thin near the old scar, which would have made for a very dangerous VBAC attempt had I gone that route. I didn’t really have a lot of time to think and worry about the surgery as everything happened so quickly. And, Cambree picked her own birthday!

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Put water on ‘dribble’ for the cat to drink from in the upstairs bathroom sink. Got the Dolly her milk and went into our room to sit in the big rocking chair and read as we do every night. We got caught up reading stories, more than we usually do, but she was going to bed early and so I figured it was ok.

After our stories, we always go to brush teeth, but when I walked into the bathroom the sink was completely filled with water, and had been overflowing for only God knows how long. The rug was soaked, there was water under the sink, there was a pool around the toilet, and I was afraid to look downstairs in the kitchen.

When Derek came upstairs, he was furious. Rightfully so. When I put the water on for the cat, I didn’t put the lights on because the Dolly was all ready in the chair waiting for me so I wanted to get in there. I didn’t realize that she had closed the drain while she was in there before.

Thankfully, I don’t think any major damage was done. I feel awful and Derek is pissed. We don’t argue much and it hurts when we are angry. Plus then, with all the excitement, Ariella did not want to stay in bed and try to go to sleep. So she was screaming in her bed because she had to go to bed.

I’m sure Derek will want to weigh in here too. Sorry, Sweetie.

I guess with two weeks to go before the scheduled C-Section I am just getting impatient. I want to get back to myself again and meet this baby girl! At least now I’m officially “Full Term” so if something does happen they will not be sending me home and just getting it over with!

Around 1:30pm yesterday I started having what I thought were the same old Braxton-Hicks that 36 weekers usually get. At 10pm, after almost 9 hours of them getting a bit closer together I decided to call the Doctor and hear his recommendations. Of course that was, “I can’t tell you anything over the phone, your best bet is to go to the Hospital to be monitored to see if anything is really happening.” I knew he was going to say that.

So we packed up all our gear, all Ariella’s gear and headed to my Gramma’s house where my Mom is “babysitting” while my Uncle is in Tahiti. Yes, Tahiti – believe me, he deserves a break! I figured that if we took our time getting ready and dropping her off the contractions might stop by then and we could avoid the whole Hospital thing. I was wrong, they just kept on coming!

At 12:02am we walked into the L&D ward at Mercy and were brought into a labor room. They got me set up with a beautiful gown and checked me. I was 2cm dilated and 50% effaced. That kinda surprised me, but didn’t. I hadn’t been dilated at all at my last appointment Thursday, but I figured the contractions had done something to help it along. That information plus the contractions coming pretty regularly at 7 minutes plus the pain factor which was now in the equation as well made the Nurse Midwife on duty scratch her head at me and not give me food or water. Both of which I wanted.

My Nurse was given the instruction that if the contractions continued the way they were for a certain amount of time I was to get an IV at that point, as signs would be pointing more towards ‘GO’ than false labor. After an hour or so, I got an IV and immediately began to freak out. I guess I am not as prepared or ready for the C-Section as I had thought. I also almost passed out. Needles are not always my favorite things and I was running on a huge lack of sleep.Then the Nurse says to me, “This is going to feel cold” and hooks up a baggie of something to the IV. I think I was shaking for the next 30 minutes before getting myself under control. Derek stood next to me and rubbed my hand to try and warm me up, it was a miracle I didn’t shake the IV out of my arm! Or myself out of the bed!

Derek kept falling asleep in his chair and I couldn’t sleep at all. It was early in the morning, no one was awake to chat with on-line and I was contracting like crazy! Also thinking that this might be the day we have our new baby! However, when I asked if I could lay on my side, I finally got comfortable enough to be fast asleep in seconds. Next thing I knew, they were back in the room to check me again. Nothing had changed at that point and the contractions were lessening and spreading apart. Thankfully, even at 3am, we were sent home.

The end of this pregnancy is turning out to be quite the adventure! My thought is the 3rd time is the charm, so if Cambree decides to go at it again, they’ll probably take her. I was given strict orders for a few things – 1. Don’t wait so long to come into the Hospital if I have contractions again. Because I am a repeat section, they want me in and being monitored if I think something is happening again. They also told me not to bother calling my Dr either, to just go right in. 2. Don’t eat if I start having contractions. I ate a huge dinner, because I was starving, but because of the section, they want my belly empty. 3. Get help with the Toddler for the next 3 weeks so I can rest as much as possible to give Cambree some more time to cook.

Not sure what the next 3 weeks is going to bring, but I am desperately trying to get all my action plans in order with people and have them ‘on call’ for us if need be. Hopefully, the need will not be there again until Feb 10th!!!

Then I saw the Female Doctor at my practice. She said that there was no way I shouldn’t try for a VBAC. That it was so much safer and there was no reason for me NOT to try. She was so supportive I left feeling like it was all possible again.

I looked on-line and found the same confusing information. If you read something from the VBAC supporters they all have “statistics” that say multiple Cesareans are dangerous and unnecessary in most situations. That the rupture rate isn’t big at all and there’s more of a danger in surgery. If you read supporters of Multiple Cesareans they say the opposite about having a VBAC. Rupture rates are higher than previously thought, surgery is safer due to control in bleeding and what happens during the surgery.

Then you go to some blog sites where the opinion is that if you don’t have a VBAC you are doing the wrong thing for yourself and your baby. As if having, or needing a C-Section makes you less of a woman because you are not delivering “naturally”.

I have all the respect in the world for women who can pop out kids without drugs, or at home, without complications. But some of us do have issues that necessitate surgery. Ariella was in ‘Arrested Decent’ when I pushed for 4 hours trying to birth her. Everything else went naturally for me, dilating, contractions. But my hips were not separated enough to allow her head to descend into the birth canal. They could see her trying, but she couldn’t turn even after 4 hours. She was in no danger, thankfully, her heart rate stayed up the entire time – what a trooper! And when they finally said it was time to have the Cesarean I was devastated – this was not the way it was supposed to go! But my Doctor had given me plenty of time to try and do what Mother Nature intended, it just didn’t work. What else could I do? I was exhausted, and the baby was not coming!

So with this one, ALL 5 Doctors who I have been seeing throughout the pregnancy agree that it is safer and necessary to schedule this surgery. All of them are supportive of my trying for a VBAC, even with my previous history. However, when the Female Doc, who was SO pro-VBAC in that first appointment with her also said she thought I would most likely end up having another C-Section anyway, I knew that was it for me.

Do I want surgery? NO WAY! Who does? But I do want my baby to be delivered safely and not go through unnecessary stress. I also don’t want to go through the disappointment that I went through last time, no matter how selfish that sounds. I cried for 2 hours the other night when I received all the information about surgery prep. I am a nervous wreck sometimes when I think about it. But this baby has to be born somehow and this is how it is going to have to be.

I also received information about donating my placenta during the birth. It contains Aminon, which can promote healing after certain surgeries, (such as eye or dental) and is also used in neurological reconstructive procedures. The ONLY time a woman can donate this is during a C-Section. So I feel blessed to be able to possibly help someone in this way. My surgery is not only birthing my baby girl, but also allowing me to help someone in need out there in the world.

I just wish that some of the home birth/natural birth advocates would keep in mind that there are Mamas out there who have one reason or another to have surgery to birth their babies. It’s not always inept Doctors making bad decisions for the Mother or baby. Some choose Cesareans on their own, but it doesn’t matter how you birth your child – you are STILL a Mama!

Then an update came through which for whatever reason rendered the little device completely unusable. It wouldn’t turn on, then it wouldn’t turn off, it would turn itself off if you tried to change albums in the middle of your day. I called Microsoft, and they sent me info on how to return it. This took at least two to three weeks, but soon a new one came.

It was black, not my original fixed up for me, but it was another Zune. Ahhhhh, music the way I wanted it was back in my life once again! Until I noticed that the little button on top to “lock” the device did not work. At all. They had sent me a defunct device back! I was furious, this had not been my fault! And as small an issue as it may seem, when you are putting the device into a purse or pocket so it’s not sitting in your car while you are out shopping or what have you, it turns itself on and drains the battery! So when you are back in the car, it is out of juice and is unusable – AGAIN!

So one more time I called back to customer service and was immediately placed on the “special” help list. The call center people were all very helpful and assured me that this was going to be resolved. By sending the second defunct Zune back to them so they could send me another “refurbished” Zune. They don’t send new ones out when you’ve all ready purchased one.

After another looooooong three weeks, I received the next Zune in the mail. This one with a working lock button, and no issues with downloading updates. We used it all the time. On our way to church. On our way to the Doctor. On our way to Gramma’s house. Christmas morning. All except for when we test drove the new Forester. I didn’t have the correct cables to connect it to the sound system, and the Forester doesn’t have the tape player in it to use it that way. So I took it out of the Jetta, put it in the pocket of my jacket (my purse was overflowing with other electronic gadgets on that particular day) and, well, I LOST MY FRICKIN ZUNE.

I COULD have zipped up the pocket of my ski jacket, which actually comes with a pocket FOR an MP3 player on the INSIDE of it. I COULD have just left it in the Jetta which was at my parents house while we drive the new car. I COULD have left the jacket on while we waited for the saleswoman at the Suburu place so I could feel it in there. But NO! I’m pregnant, have lost my mind and am HOT all the time so I didn’t leave it on and carried my jacket – without a protected zipped pocket – all over hell and creation instead.

After all this, no Zune still. I have looked everywhere in the house, cars, jacket pockets, bags of gifts. It must be a sign that the Zune and I, no matter how passionate our love over the past year, was not meant to be.

Poop on a stick. 

1. My Zune (the biggest loss of everything)
2. A paycheck from my part-time job singing at Church
3. A package of Wegmans Honey Roasted Turkey Breast

Items found which were missing:

1. A jar of Vick’s Vapo-Rub (which has been missing since way before the pregnancy, and again – not sure how it was lost in the first place, but ended up in Derek’s office somehow)

I am sick over the Zune, paycheck can be remedied by calling Church and I am completely baffled by the turkey (all the other groceries made it into the house, everything is on the bill. Not even sure HOW that one happened.). Pretty sure I’m losing my mind, so therefore I am not leaving the house by myself with the Toddler at all until this pregnancy is over. Who knows if either one of us will make it back home?

On my trip in June to see my Best Friend Amy in Fulton, NY I realized that I may be pregnant. When I came home that assumption was undeniably confirmed.  After more morning sickness and lots of growing, I am still growing and we are patiently waiting for our Cambree to arrive next month. It is going to take a while to get used to not only saying we are having the baby this year, but next MONTH!

Over the summer, Derek and the Fathers were busy bees getting our shed re-built. They literally took it all the way down to the studs, put up new walls and even windows! We now have a beautiful red shed with white trim in our backyard. It still needs a new roof, but that is coming in the new year.

Ariella also turned 2 years old in 2010. THAT time went by extremely quickly! We all celebrated while having bad colds, but it was a great party and she got many lovely things. She continues to amaze us with her vocabulary and ability to learn music at light speed. This Christmas she actually stood on the risers and sang ‘Hark, the Herald Angels Sing’ with us. All three verses, on pitch and in time. Her favorite Christmas show was ‘Charlie Brown Christmas’ and she recognizes it no matter where she hears the music. She is such a joy to have in our lives!

We ended the year by having a Contractor friend of Derek’s come by and look at our “projects” that have been on the back burner since we moved in. He gave us lots of great ideas and hope that one of those projects will be attainable in the near future! Not the near future, but closer than I think we were expecting.

So far 2011 has been very relaxing! And by that I mean today I have done nothing but sit on the couch. We are looking forward to possibly leasing a new car to make getting around for a family of four easier (stretching the budget a bit to do it, but we think its possible), having the baby in February, Derek’s Sister’s Graduation from St. John Fisher in May, Derek’s Cousin Matt’s Wedding in August, Ariella beginning Pre-School in September and whatever else may come our way!

We hope your 2011 brings you peace, joy and lots of love! Happy New Year!!

I called my OB just to ask if that was something I should worry about, or if it was ok to be happening this early. I know I lost my plug with Ariella a few weeks before she actually came, but this is 10 weeks before Cambree is coming. The nurse asked all her questions and I answered them honestly. She consulted with the Doctor who had me go to the Hospital to be monitored and see if I was dilated at all.

Of course, I had to wait for Derek to get here from work, which is in Tonawanda – 45 minutes away roughly. And try to contact my parents to make sure they were available to watch Ariella. They were at the mall shopping, which I didn’t know so I was starting to freak out a little bit. Everything turned out fine and we dropped her off before heading to the Hospital.

When we got there they hooked me up to the monitor, I peed in a cup and they took some swabs to look for infection or the enzyme produced that tells them that you will give birth within the next two weeks. I’m sorry, I don’t remember the name of it. Then they just watched the monitor to see what was going on.

Fortunately and unfortunately, there was lots of activity for them to see. I was having constant small tightenings, some of which I didn’t even realize were happening, but were showing up on the monitor. The nurse called it an “irritated” uterus. The bigger contractions stayed pretty much irregular, but were getting really intense and a bit painful. They started saying “Pre-Term Labor” to me, which of course was pretty scary. At that point, they really weren’t sure exactly what was happening, but assured me that there were measures to take to stop things from progressing if that were in fact happening.

Thankfully, when all the lab work started to come back everything was negative. She also said I am not dilated at all, which is what I told her. I remember what that feels like from the last time. There is no way you would not know you are dilated, at least in my case, my hips were killing me and I felt like I was bruised every time I tried to move. Oh, and there is a definite increase in the waddle as well. I don’t feel like that at all right now.

However, the contractions kept coming, so they kept me a bit longer to see if they would continue the way they were going, get more regular or stop. Thankfully they stopped and we were free to go without any restrictions when I got home. That means I am cleaning the bathroom today like I had planned.

No matter how hard I try, no one will put me on bedrest!

It was a very draining day. I think I held it together well except for when I asked what Cambree’s chances of survival were if she had been born yesterday at 30 weeks. I had to ask and it just brought everything together for me.

There are just two things that I am still not completely sure of; 1. why all the mucus so early and 2. why the strong contractions? They were definitely NOT BH’s, which are very low on your uterus. These were right in the middle and were making me catch my breath – becoming painful. So now I have the task of keeping an eye on anything that lasts for longer than 2 hours, get stronger and don’t go away even if I take a warm bath.

I thought this before, but now I know for a fact that it is going to be a VERY long 8 weeks and 6 days. Not that I’m counting or anything……

Ariella WILL be able to visit while we are in there, which is also nice. They had signs up advising that children under 14 not visit, but she is a sibling so is exempt. This changes my thoughts about when to bring her in, but I guess I have all of January to figure it out and make final decisions about who is watching her when.

We were able to go into the room I was in the last time. It looked almost the same as when I left it with Ariella. Made me a little sad that it has been two years all ready. And that this may very well be my last pregnancy.

It was very empty too, and I am wondering how busy it will be in February. I had hoped to see some new babies in the nursery but they were all out with the Mama’s. I asked some good questions to the Nurse and found out some interesting things. For example, they have newborns on a pulse ox. pretty much the entire time they are in the nursery to monitor their status, I CAN breastfeed as soon as I am in recovery (last time was a different story due to the epidural going UP my arm and making it numb so I couldn’t hold her right away) and this Nurse has seen enough problems with VBACS that she doesn’t personally recommend them. That is a topic for another post, however. There is so much I learn from the Mama’s I follow on-line, so my questions this time around are much more specific and logical!

All in all I am very excited to be headed back to Mercy for Cambree’s Birth! I loved the Nurses and it is a very clean, neat Hospital. Now if we only had a date scheduled! That would make me even more excited!!

I have been realizing more and more that this pregnancy is coming to a close. It leaves me feeling a bit sad, actually. This is a special time that lasts only moments if you look at it over the span of a lifetime. And the memories of what it feels like are fleeting as well. I couldn’t remember what having a baby move inside you felt like until Cambree started again.

This may be the last time I am ever pregnant, and I wish I could capture every moment of it to remember forever. I love being pregnant and if I was able to deliver naturally I would probably consider having another.

There are also days when I see these skinny Moms out with their babies, who look like they’ve never been pregnant before and I miss my regular jeans, having wine with dinner, and other unmentionables that just aren’t the same during pregnancy – Moms out there understand what I mean. I miss being me!

So there’s only 13 weeks left in this pregnancy, and with Holidays that will go by only too quickly. I am going to continue to enjoy Cambree when she is only mine, and look forward to tons of Mall Gift Certificates for my Birthday in July so I can go shopping and get my “normal” body some sexy new clothes. I will be a Mom of two girls and will need a day of shopping for myself.

Every appointment after that when I would ask they would tell me that it wasn’t that big of a difference and that everything was the same. So at today’s appointment I asked again and received another answer. I guess after that first sonogram my OB did in fact change my Due Date from February 19th to the 13th. So the Doc today said that he would go in the middle of the two and say the 15th.

That puts me at exactly 21 weeks along now, with still a long road ahead of me! Due date doesn’t really mean too much, except you have a general idea of when the baby will be born. Ariella was three days late, and I’ve heard a lot of women say that their second child was born early. But when you are looking at a repeat C-Section in the future and want to have a date in mind, it does mean something! No matter what, this baby will come whether we are ready for her or not, or have planned for her to come a certain day.

I can’t wait to see what her plans are for us! Five months down, four more to go!