As I approached and exceeded 8 months of getting 2 – 3 hours of sleep a night due to a nursing baby every 2 hours, I finally gave in to the feeling that it was time to wean our little one. This is such a bittersweet thing to do. I immensely enjoyed nursing both our girls and was extremely happy I was able to do so. I never had any issues while nursing our latest edition and I even contemplated going longer with her than I had with the first. It just wasn’t meant to be.

The first few days I only gave her bottles during the day, to see if she would make a big fuss or not. She was still up all night long for the comfort of Mama. The first night she had a bottle after her bath I got a little nervous, she was so wide awake I thought she would never fall asleep! But a few minutes of her fussing a bit in her crib, she was out. She woke up at 12:30 or 1:30am and I nursed her (which at this point was at least 8 oz with how engorged I was!) which of course put her right back to sleep. Except that 2 hours later, there she was again wailing and complaining. The next night I decided to give her a bottle instead. She slept right through her “normal” feeding! It was a nice, solid, five hour stretch. This was something that has not happened I don’t think ever!

I know, I never should have been nursing her to sleep in the first place. It didn’t start out that way I assure you. If you have ever tried to wake a newborn while nursing, you know all the tricks they give you don’t always work! I attempted to remedy this with the ‘Baby Whisperer’ E.A.S.Y. method which worked for a bit, but even through this she was still up – screaming – every two hours at night after her initial long stretch once putting her down. I gave her cereal before bed, changed diapers, walked her, didn’t walk her, kept her in the crib rubbing her back, let her cry a bit before going in to soothe her again. Nothing was working. I asked her doctor about it, at each of her appointments worried that maybe I wasn’t producing enough milk or maybe not good enough milk to sustain her for longer periods. She only told me that it was my child’s temperament and that I had to persevere through the crying and just not feed her. Her weight certainly attested to the fact that my milk was enough for her to live on and she was always the happiest baby no matter what during the day – no colic or digestion problems here.

So, for the past five days at least, I have been EXTREMELY uncomfortable (cabbage leaves in the bra, pumping once a day to relieve the pressure) but things have been going very well. I am amazed at how easily this child adapts to different situations and how she has very rarely fussed over being given a bottle instead of me. Perhaps she’ll need therapy later for the “trauma” of being denied the breast, but for now her successes since the weaning are a testament to the fact it was time.

She can now put herself back to sleep without us needing to get out of bed and pick her up. She is sleeping better through the night and has even been put back to sleep without a bottle several times. She is enjoying more intimate time with other members of her family, Daddy, Grandma and others will soon follow I am sure.

This is a sad thing for me mainly because this is most likely our last child to be nursed. I do miss the closeness and the special feeling that only I could do this for my child. However, you have to wean your child at some point and for us this was the moment. She was only two weeks earlier than her sister (and she was weaned after she bit me with her new teeth!) and I am proud that we were able to make it past the 6 months they say is most beneficial. The benefits have certainly outweighed any physical or emotional drawbacks I have been feeling so far!

Once I started to make my own food, her appetite and interest in the food I was giving her completely turned around. Now I have made her everything from fruits, vegetables, and meats and she LOVES every bite! I have even pureed some of our own dinners for her to try.

Tonight she had ground beef, sweet potatoes and tomatoes. A few nights ago it was Cod with an orange sauce. Lunches have included chicken with apples and avocado slices to help her learn to chew.

While Gerber is a great stand by, nothing beats making your own meals for enticing your baby’s taste buds and giving her a great start to healthy, happy mealtimes.

7:30am – In shower getting ready for last OB appointment before my scheduled C-Section that upcoming Thursday, contractions began to get more frequent and strong. This was something I was quite used to at this point, after all my false labor and daily Braxton-Hicks bouts. So upon getting dressed, I began to keep track of them – again. Figured it wouldn’t hurt seeing that I was on my way to the doctor anyway.

By the time we were getting out coats on, Derek looked at me and said, “Do you think we should take the hospital bag, just in case?” I shrugged and answered, “Couldn’t hurt.” The contractions were not really letting up, but not bothering me too much either. I kept on writing times and intensities down anyway and ran upstairs to get my glasses and contact case again, ‘just in case’.

8:20am – arrived at my parents house with Ariella in tow and all packed up. I was still timing and writing. Every time I thought I was in the clear, another one would come on a bit stronger than the last one. I didn’t bother getting out of the car. It hurt too much and we were running very late to the doctors.

8:35am – arrived at Hamburg OBGYN, got the closest spot we could (thank God), got my little cup to pee in and headed to the bathroom. I was a bit nervous at this point, because the contractions kept coming and in the back of my head a little voice kept telling me this was it, that they would send me in. I kept arguing with that voice, however telling it that I wasn’t really ready to have a baby that day and I was only getting my hopes up anyway.

8:50am – Got called in to see Dr. Z. Got weighed (172lbs, which hadn’t changed in two weeks), got situated in the room, heard Cambree’s heart beating strongly and then waited for the doc to come in. Not sure what Derek and I talked about then, but I think we argued about something baby related. A few minutes later, Dr. Z. walked in and asked how things were going. I told him about the contractions going on all morning at this point and he said, “Why don’t we send you in and see what happens? If you go in and the contractions keep going like this we’ll do the section today, if they die off, we’ll see you Thursday anyway.” I must have looked a bit spooked, but he kept reassuring me I was only going in to be monitored and that if they did take her that day she would be fine; I was turing 39 weeks the next day. I checked out and made my 6 week appointment with Dr. Z, because I wanted to make sure it was done and Thursday was when I was going to have the baby.

9:50am – I called my parents from the car on the way to the Hospital to let them know we would not be coming right back to the house to pick up Ariella. My Mom was very calm and cool on the phone with me and told me to let them know how things were going.

10:15am – Derek dropped me off at the bridge to the lobby where I waited, still keeping track, until he found a parking spot. Five minutes later he came to meet me and we did our walk to the elevators and up to Labor & Delivery. “We’re checking in!” he told them for the third time this pregnancy and they buzzed us through. When we walked in through the second set of doors and asked for my name, they smiled and exclaimed “Oh! It’s our C-Section!”

My face must have betrayed my panic when I told them, “I’m just here to be monitored.” Because the Nurse taking us to the room said, “Oh, Dr. Z. called and told us you were having contractions and they were delivering you today!” The other Nurses at the station asked me, “Don’t you want to have your baby today?” I was honest with them and said, “I’m a bit nervous about the surgery,” and then we were whisked away into a L&D room.

From there everything moved very quickly, but calmly. They listened to me when I told them again what Dr. Z.had told us at the office, I was only there to be monitored and if it looked like something was happening THEN they would be doing the surgery. But then Dr. C. (who was on call that day) came into the room and basically told me that with all the contractions I was having and the risk of rupture and the fact that I was basically 39 weeks and my section was scheduled only three days away they wanted to just go ahead and get me in before their 1:30pm scheduled section. That everything would be fine, they would take good care of me, the baby was ready and it was a good day to be born.

The Nurse came in with the IV, they took the monitors off me and prepped me for surgery. They gave Derek his little outfit, and gave him instructions about what was going to happen and we got in touch with UNYTS about going in early so I could still donate my placenta. They were able to get someone there quickly.

Derek and I only had a few moments alone before anything was going to be in motion. He made phone calls to Grandparents and made sure I was ok. I asked him if he was ok too and he was not even nervous. That I could tell. Before I knew it, it was time to walk to the OR, which happened to be right next door. I thought I would have more time before being confronted with that room, but it was so close and so cold, sterile and right there in front of me. Wow, this was actually going to happen!

My Anesthesiologist was an older foreign gentleman who did not say much and had me extremely nervous. I was surprised I wasn’t passing out at this point knowing what was coming, but I got up onto the table and did what he told me to do. Getting the Spinal was not fun, I felt way too much of it for my liking, but it took effect immediately and I was completely numb before I knew it. Trying to get quickly numbing legs onto that little skinny table is not an easy task, let me tell you. As the Spinal took effect I did almost pass out, but whatever adjustment was made got me back quickly. And after that it was almost fun!

Dr. C. came in and talked with me while he prepped my belly, made sure I couldn’t feel anything and then they started. Derek came in a few minutes later and I almost broke his poor hand squeezing it so tightly. But I was amazed at how good I felt! No passing out, no pain, I even asked for a sandwich because I hadn’t eaten anything all morning (just in case). I kept telling Dr. C. “Just tell me she’s beautiful!”

12:13pm – After a little bit of pulling and tugging, everyone congratulated us at once with “It’s definitely a girl! And she’s beautiful!” I almost remember cheering, but I’m sure that was just in my head! Then I heard her crying, screaming for air, and they held her up to me so I could see her. My eyes welled up and I said hello to our Cambree for the first time. What an experience! She screamed so much and so loudly that everyone was commenting about her lung capacity. It was amazing! Derek ran back with his camera to take pictures and video while I laughed with everyone else about her high octave range. I’ve never heard a newborn scream so much!

The rest of the surgery went relatively quickly, Dr. C. yelled at me for being too skinny and him not having any fat to sew up with and I was still asking for food. They wheeled me back into the L&D room I had been in before and Cambree was there minutes later. She nursed right away, latching on without any difficulty. I got my sandwich, and still felt great! I couldn’t feel anything from my boobs down! About two hours later they gave me pain meds and took me to my room.

All in all, I was amazed at how everything went exactly as I had really wanted it to. I guess I did in fact go into labor, albeit the early stages of it and they found the uterine lining to be extremely thin near the old scar, which would have made for a very dangerous VBAC attempt had I gone that route. I didn’t really have a lot of time to think and worry about the surgery as everything happened so quickly. And, Cambree picked her own birthday!

Now I feel the only words that come out of my mouth are – “No! Don’t do that! Put that DOWN! STOP doing that! Listen to me child!” and the like. I feel like the bad Mama. But lately all Ariella seems to do is get into trouble. Exploring, necessary, trouble. She is starting to tell ME what to do.

Yesterday as I made dinner I hear her telling me, “Wipe it up, Mama! Wipe it UP, Mama!” Then I realized that I was suddenly smelling chocolate. She had grabbed my can of baking cocoa and opened it. All over my kitchen floor. We have a berber CARPET in our kitchen. Then she was stepping in it and leaving little, cute, brown footprints all over everything.

Lesson learned from this? 1. Don’t leave the pantry door open. 2. Baking cocoa does NOT come out of berber carpet. There are STILL cute, little, brown footprints all over my kitchen.  3. Baking cocoa will clog up your vacuum filter. *Sigh* I love my daughter so much, and I need to do more gentle teaching with her. I feel like I am super frustrated at every turn. And this is only with ONE!!!!!

Heaven help me. The terrible two’s are upon me and I feel like I have no “tricks” up my sleeve! Is there a seminar, or class I can go to on how to survive this? And honestly, at the same time, I am loving every minute of it! Is that normal?

Well, with no support of the idea, and the thought of all that work ahead of me with our first newborn, I gave up and bought disposables for the first nine months. But every time I threw one away, all I could think of was how it was going to sit in a landfill for such a long time that MY disposable diapers from WAY back when are STILL out there somewhere trying to break down.

So I asked a few friends who used them about how easy they were to use, did they leak a lot, did they smell, were they good for baby’s skin, and of course how much work were they. All the ladies I spoke with were gushing about them so much, it got me excited again! But I was also confused about so much, I had no idea where to begin! It seemed like there were so many steps into actually diapering my baby – fold this like this, put this under here and fold this way, then use these things to attach it here, then get the cover and put it over here… – I was lost in all the directions and steps it almost made me give up again!

But thankfully I found the #clothdiapers chat on Twitter one Monday evening, where everyone was talking about the diapers they used, how easy they were and how much they loved them! I got talking with a wonderful woman named Marissa from Growing Green Bums, and she saved me! She sent me links and e-mails, offered to show me on-line how to fold and use the dipes on the baby, and was so encouraging for me to try them out!

With her guidance I chose to go with a bit of an easier version of the cloth diaper, the Bum Genius 3.0′s. The pocket system has been wonderful, and after a full year’s worth of use the only thing I have had to do to them is take out some of the laundry tabs in the back that were scratching my daughter’s back. These diapers are so wonderful, I can not say enough about them!!

Now that we are expecting our second child, I am so excited this one will be a cloth diaper baby from day one. I am hoping that potty training Ariella will come soon, I’ve been so sick so far with #2 that I’ve let it really go by the wayside (bad Mama!). This way I all ready have a good stash for “Poppyseed”, because Ariella should only be wearing them at night. I would like to suppliment our stash somewhat, but now I’m not sure what to get! I wouldn’t mind saving a bit of money and trying some prefolds, but does that make sense when I am used to the ease of the pockets? And then comes what brand to try? There are so many out there it can be confusing trying to figure out what you’d like!

All in all, I am a VERY happy cloth Mama! I have become an advocate within my circle of friends and am a proud cloth diaper user! Happy Anniversary to us!!

I am currently at eight weeks along and feeling sick as a dog again. Wish I could say differently, but it’s just not the case! So far, both our Birthdays have been dialed down to bare minimum, and housework and potty training have been neglected more than ever. It has now been four weeks of feeling nauseous and I am beginning to lose my mind.

However, I am very lucky in the fact that I have the most wonderful Husband on the planet. He has truly taken over most of my duties when I am too ill to do them myself. This would be – dinner, dishes, some laundry, many baby duties, and gently rubbing my back to help me go to sleep as well. All this after working a full day, driving 40 minutes each way and having his own work to accomplish at home. Which he has also been getting done. I cannot say enough about this man I Married and how much I appreciate his caring for us during this first trimester!

I keep telling myself that there are only four more weeks to go until the second trimester. But do you know how long off that seems right now? Keeping myself focused is becoming more and more difficult with feeling worse each day, but Ariella is helping with that. We have been watching far too much TV for my liking lately also. It is usually HGTV or Food Network when it’s not Sesame Street, but still I HATE doing that. She’ll tell me, “Turn it off, Mama!” when she gets bored with my shows though, so I guess that is a good thing! She would rather be outside. Thank GOD for that!

So I guess to sum up I should say, here’s to the next four weeks – may it go by quickly, and without too much fuss. I am ready to be excited for this new baby’s arrival finally!!

“Ariella has such a sincerely happy personality. She is always so upbeat, even when she hurts herself. If anyone ever changes that about her, and I find out who it is,  I will stand up on a chair and kick them in the face.”

You have to know my Mother to understand that this statement is a very strong testament of her love for her Granddaughter. My Mother never swears, is very soft spoken, and sometimes you have to look twice to even know she’s ‘s in the room. Her quote next to her senior picture in her yearbook (waaaaay back when) said ‘Quiet waters run deep’. That quote was picked by the yearbook staff, not her.

In other words, I hope no one ever messes with our daughter. I think Gramma would act on this statement no matter how old she is!

It all started with a baby-style late-after dinner poop. I smelled it when she was playing next to me before bath time. (Cursed Mama nose!) No big deal, these things happen. Since it was almost bath time anyway, I took her upstairs to clean her up and get her in the tub. Instead of putting a new cloth diaper on her, I decided to just let her run around in the bathroom naked while I got the tub ready.

I ran out of the room for honestly 15 seconds to grab the phone out of our bedroom just in case someone called. When I got back into the room I noticed that there was something large, brown, and slimy looking on the floor that hadn’t been there before. I thought, “Oh Shit!” and then promptly realized that it was in fact poop on the floor. Not the “easy to pick up with a wad of toilet paper” either.

She of course has stepped in the poop by this point and is reveling in the fact that her foot now slides around on the linoleum. Lovely. I pick her up, put her in the bathtub to get her cleaned up, and take care of the floor.

Bath time actually is a lot of fun, despite the mess. After she is all clean and pruny, I dry her off and get her pj’s on and into the crib so I can go downstairs and get her milk ready. Downstairs, I realize that there are no more clean nipples for her bottles. So I get the water hot, get them all soapy and the water runs out. (We have well water out here in Holland-land)

When the water runs out here, you have to wait an indeterminate amount of time for the pump to fill back up. So now I have a toilet with poop in it, because if you flush the toilet while running water into the bathtub it can get very hot, no water to rinse my soapy nipples (go ahead and giggle here), a full load of cloth diapers in the washer that now is half full of rinsing water, a baby who only drank half her milk at bedtime because she doesn’t like milk from a sippy cup spout, and my bladder decides then to make it known that I REALLY have to pee (which I did only to forget about the water and FLUSH).

End of story – the water is back, cloth diapers are clean, baby is sleeping, nipples are no longer soapy, and Derek is home.

The day of our good friend Suzy’s Wedding, I found out I was pregnant again.  We went to Suzy and Rob’s Wedding so full of joy, and feeling like we were on top of the world! And we were so good, we didn’t tell anyone except our parents. There were plenty of opportunities too, when other friends of ours asked us if we were thinking of having more children. We just looked at each other and said – ‘Maybe, we’ll see what happens!’

As it turns out, it was a better thing that we never said anything to anyone. The next day, I started Miscarrying, and lost the baby on that Tuesday. If I didn’t pay so close attention to my cycle, I never would have even known I was pregnant again. But me being 5 days late NEVER happens.

But that began a whole series of bloodwork, and learning a whole lot about pregnancy hormones in the meantime, in order to decifer what the doctor was telling us was going on. They kept telling me, ‘If you are in a lot of pain, take Tylenol – NOT Ibuprofin, just in case the pregnancy takes.’ JUST IN CASE??? They were remaining hopeful even though they were telling me it was most likely a miscarriage. (Or threatened abortion, as they wrote on my chart. Which let me tell you this Roman Catholic Conservative just thought was awesome! )

How can doctors do that? Tell you not to hope it will take, but at the same time tell you to avoid something just in case? I know they have to cover their asses, but that just does horrible thing to a possible Mom-To-Be-Again’s brain! And all the things they tell you – that it’s not your fault, you can’t screw up a pregnancy that easily or abortion wouldn’t be an issue (everyone would just drink too much, or go swing dancing as in our case at the Wedding to get rid of an unwanted pregnancy), or that there was something not right with the fertilized egg and your body gets rid of it on purpose, and that there is nothing they can do.  None of that mattered to me. And it only gives a momentary measure of comfort now. As the Mom, you can’t help thinking that something you did made this happen.

A few weeks later, all my tests came back negative. Negative for pregnancy that is. It was here and gone so fast I hardly knew it had happened! Now that our mandatory waiting period for trying again is over, I just keep wondering if maybe it was a sign from God, that we shouldn’t try again. Was it a warning that I won’t be able to handle two kids? Overall, it seems more difficult to deal with now than it did when it was actually happening. PLUS I’m super scared that if I do get pregnant again, will it take? Will I have to go through that again? Is there something wrong?

Now to the Blessings – I look at Ariella so differently now. To get pregnant with her and have no major issues, and be watching her grow into the beautiful little girl she is makes me so thankful. It is such a miracle to be able to do this ‘Mama Thing’, and makes me proud to be a woman who was at least Blessed to have done it once in my lifetime.

I truly do pray for all the Mothers who have lost a child, no matter when or how. It is not an easy thing to get through.

She calls our cat by his name – Isis. Ok, so she says ‘Ice’ because the last ‘is’ is difficult for her. But she comprehends that the cat has a name, and can approximate the saying of it. She stands at the door, like Mama does countless times during the day, and calls for him to come inside too!

There is LOTS of generalization going on with her! My parents also have a cat. His name is Max. While she can say Max, if you ask her to ‘Call Max’ she immediately says ‘Ice!’ with the smoochy calling a cat noise, and goes to their back door. Now this is interesting because it is a roundabout generalization. She not only knows that we have a cat, but that the animal my parents have is also a cat, and therefore calls him Isis like she does at home – generalizing the whole cat routine.

She understands that some things are shaped the same way, and will try to put all her ‘circular’ toys into the circle hole in her shape sorter. Most of the time they get stuck because they are too big, but she tries just the same.

When she has a cold, or a runny nose, she will blow her nose into a tissue. Not each and every time, but she knows there’s stuff in there that needs to come out, and she will blow to get it out. Actually, she does that sometimes whether or not she HAS said tissue. More fun clean up for Mama!

If her food is too hot, she will blow on it to cool it off like Mama does.

The other day in Wegmans, I made the horrible mistake of letting her see me put bananas in the cart. Seeing that this is one of her favorite foods and words to say, she immediately wanted those bananas! I gave her the bunch, which of course was my second mistake. I didn’t weigh them so I couldn’t give her one and was trying my best to ignore her pleas of ‘Ba-NANA’. Suddenly, she took my hand, flipped it over and put a banana into it. She looked at me pointedly and said very clearly “BA-NANA!” as if to say, ‘Hello, Lady! You peel this and feed it to me, remember?’

She just started giving ‘real’ hugs and kisses too! If you ask her for a kiss, she puckers up and gives you a kiss on the lips. Her hugs are getting longer and bigger as well.

Another awesome thing that started this Tuesday in fact, is saying her name! It is a basic apporoximation, but anyone listening would not be able to argue that she is in fact saying – ‘Ariella’, even though she adds a few more l’s into that verbalization. So cute!

All of these things are normal progression. It’s just that I didn’t expect my ONE year old to be doing them! I have taught in many a Preschools over the years, and this just seems to be a bit more than she should be doing/saying/comprehending at only 1 years old! Maybe it is completely normal, I have never had a 1 year old before after all. No matter what, she will always be amazing to me, because I am her Mama.

We have well water, which makes our water pressure exremely low.  So on those sticky poop days I find myself elbow deep into poopy toilet water, or scrubbing with a washcloth (yes I have “special” ones which I use ONLY for diapers) in the sink.  I personally hate putting poop in the bathroom sink.  With a diaper sprayer, it would allow me to spray the poop off the diaper right into the toilet, eliminating the need for me to have a hamat shower after each and every diaper change.

So I have been trying to enter every blogger giveaway to win one of these things, which is the main reason of writing today, to win a sprayer from The Diaper Sprayer brought to us by The First Time Around blog.  I’ll let you know how to turns out. This would really save me a lot of hassle, and Derek can’t complain because it would be FREE! 

Since then, we have recovered from surgery, pooped on lots of people, and had many, many, many firsts.  Smiling, standing, rolling over, crawling, cruising, walking, dancing, talking, eating solids, drinking from a bottle, laughing, tantrums, finding her hair, head, ears, eyes, face, toes, feet, hands, fingers, nose.  We’ve gotten through two small colds, eight teeth so far, and being passed around the Choir during church every Sunday.

A busy year would not even begin to cover what the past 365 have been like, but I as a Mother with all its happy times, and frustrations would not give up one minute of it for anything.  Can’t even imagine what the next year will bring.  Christmas will be so much fun for the next ten years or so I can’t wait!  Hopefully everything will continue to go well with everyone’s continued support, and Blessings.

Tomorrow is going to be such a busy day, this post had to come a day early, even though last year at this time I had no idea that the little love of my life was about to make her grand entrance in a day from now.  Life is only getting more exciting every day, wouldn’t you agree, Derek? 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARIELLA LOVEY LOVE!!

My rainbow cloth diaper connection

Quite honestly, I only had time to look in Target for detergent, and they didn’t have anything on the approved list I had with me. So on the advice of a few friends, I went with Purex Free and Clear. I’m probably breaking all the rules here, but I’m going to try it out and see if any problems come up.

I made sure I had my extra rinse cycle on and washed them per the instructions, had to dry them in the dryer cause there was no more sun that late in the evening, and then stuffed them before bed!

This morning I put the first cloth diaper on my baby! I was amazed at how soft it felt, and how great it looked on her!

Ariella sporting her first cloth diaper!

So far she has only worn two of the six. I am doing them every other change, and she is wearing a disposable for naps and bedtime until I get more. Each time she has only wet, but I know the inevitable is coming…:)

For each wet diaper, I have rinsed them immediately and let them hang over the tub to dry a bit. I won’t be washing them again until tomorrow or Thursday. I am hoping that will help with any odor.

Now onto deciding if this is for me. So far, I like what I am seeing and feeling! Haven’t gone through a washing cycle of dirty diapers yet, but that is soon. I also don’t know if I should stick with bumGenius, or mix and match them? Try different brands? Another issue are accessories, or do you need wet/dry bags and the like? I’m not even sure what other items I might need!

More later on in the week when I do more washing!

ARG! Every-one’s comments made me believe that this was not the route for me. So I took the easy way out and began using disposables. But lately I’ve been looking at that huge pile in the trash bin and thinking more and more about how all those dirty diapers are going to sit in some landfill for a very long amount of time.

So, thanks to some wonderful Mommas on Twitter (#clothdiapers) and Marissa (@GrowningGreenBums) giving me all sorts of support and information about these products, I have six one size Bum Genius diapers on the way! I honestly am very excited to be trying them out and am DETERMINED to make it work. Not only am I going to be helping our environment, but our family’s budget as well. Being on one salary is working for now, but until I can get into a teaching job again every cent is counted!

I am hoping to find both the time and energy needed to blog this journey of mine with cloth diapers. Hopefully it will inspire other moms like me to do the same! I’ll start my journey officially when the six arrive. I promise to leave out the really messy, gross parts.

Saturday we were all at the Grandparent’s Punaro for birthday celebrations, so we did not get home much before 9pm.  I had brought her nightie to their house so we changed her there, knowing she would fall fast asleep in the car.  It made it a bit easier getting her ready for bed once we did get home.

After nursing her, I put her down and she went to sleep after a few moments of whimpering.  She woke up again at 4:50, nursed and then I thought she was going to stay awake after I got back into bed.  After about ten minutes of “talking”, she was back to sleep and up again at 7am.

Day 6

Tonight was back to her “normal” schedule again.  Bath at 7:30, stories compliments of Daddy and then her Momma Milk.  When I put her down tonight, there was no whimpering, talking, sighing, or crying.  She was alseep when her head touched the matress, maybe before.

She did wake up for a few minutes a little while ago and cried a little bit, but was asleep again before we even decided if we should go and check on her.  So far, she has stayed asleep.

I am so hesitant to say that this is actually working, even though the evidence I am presenting here would confirm that.  There is nothing worse than a new parent jinxing themselves 6 nights into a good sleep pattern.  So, I will continue this blogging journey for the next few nights and let the readers decide.

I also want to assure you that I am not putting all my eggs in one basket here, and thinking that this is the end of any sleep difficulties.  She has many, many more teeth to come in, and sicknesses to have.  I am only glad at this moment for a bit of a reprieve from being awaken at various times during the night, and hoping I don’t fall off the bed in her room as I nurse her half asleep.

Here’s hoping your night is a peaceful one, full of good sleep and pleasant dreams. 

I thought that she would stay sleeping even while changing her into her PJ’s, but she did wake up.  I nursed her, put her in her crib where she was quiet for a few minutes, but did end up making some noise. The noise, however, was not all that much tonight.  It was more of a whiny-talking kind of thing instead of the screaming/crying we have had for the other few nights.  It only lasted about 10 minutes if that.  Then she stayed asleep until 3:45am.

I did get up at that point and change her diaper and feed her.  She honestly does seem hungry at these nursings, she doesn’t fall right to sleep again in my arms, or just lay there.  She is feeding quite hungrily until she has had enough, about 15-20 minutes later.  Then she does go right back to sleep.  She didn’t wake up this morning again until about 7ish, I think.  Daddy let me sleep in until 9. 

Ariella got her cereal, bath and her Momma Milk before being put down around 8:00ish.  She fussed a little bit at first but then went right to sleep, with Momma pretty much right behind her.  She woke up a few times during the night, but was able to get herself back to sleep pretty well after a few minutes.

She woke up at 2:30am crying pretty hard, I waited a few minutes, but then decided to get up and change her diaper.  Then I did feed her with the thought that she did make it through half the night wthout anything, and if she woke up again after that I would try to get her back to sleep without.  She went back to sleep without a problem, however and didn’t wake up until her usual 7am.

Not a bad night.

Day 3

Tonight we had some errands to run in the earlier evening, so she fell asleep in the car around 5 and woke up when we got home @ 5:30ish.  Therefore, I figured she would not be that tired until a bit later on.  We went without a bath tonight, as I wasn’t sure exactly when she might be ready to go to sleep.

After we made our dinner, we all sat down to eat together around 6ish. We played in her “Zoo” for a while and she was very happy and having lots of fun with Daddy.  We did not give her cereal tonight because she had a later dinner.  Around 8pm, she started getting fussy, so we got her ready for bed and Daddy read her a story.  She was very hungry so I nursed her and she seemed really sleepy, however woke up when I got up to put her into the crib.

All the information I have read tells you to put them into the crib when they are “awake but drowsy”.  This pretty much described her and I thought she might fall asleep easier after a few minutes.  Not the case.  She screamed/cried/had a tantrum for about 30 minutes.  She is sleeping right now.

This is the most difficult thing so far I have had to go through.  There is a huge part of me that thinks I should not be putting her through this.  The crying is too much and she is so small.  Then there is the other side who wants to help her get through on her own, with some semblance of independence.  I understand that she is only 6 months old, and I guess that is where part of my dichotomy comes in.   Am I doing the right thing for her?  Will she hate me in the morning?  Is she really learning something from this?  Or being put through hell just for Derek and my comfort?

We’ll try it out for a few more nights and see where we are I guess.  Derek was going from her room to me in his office, comforting us both.    God help me get through this.

Her nighttime schedule consists of the normal things, a bath around 7 or 7:30, depending on how sleepy she seems to be, a few short books, nursing and then into the crib for bed.  She usually gets herself pretty sleepy during the nursing, but last night was a totally different story.  She was not sleepy at all and was wiggling around her crib instead.  Of course when she realized where she was and what we wanted to outcome to be, she started to cry and tantrum.

So we alternated going in about every 5 minutes or so and in about 20 minutes, she was fast asleep.  And she didn’t wake up all night!  She was up at 5:30am to eat and then decided that since she was awake all ready that she may as well stay that way.

I am so confused!  I wish I knew what it was that made her stay quiet and not hungry all night long.  I did give her cereal before her bath last night, but I’ve done that before with the same twice a night feeding result.  Nothing is consistent!

Anyway, now that we have begun the journey into crying it out, we’re staying on that course until it either works, or we (I) can’t take the crying every night anymore.  I’m really hoping that this method works and we can all get some better sleep at night.

I guess I’ve always felt alone in this big, big world as if no one completely understands me and my point of view. Going into social situations was always awkward and as a result I was more of a wallflower type. But there is this subculture that exists and the only way to belong to it is to go through pregnancy, the birthing process and then the rigors of raising a child.  It is the subculture of “Mom”. 

My joining the “Southtowns Mom’s Meetup Group” has really changed my perspective on things.  It is unbelievable how easy it is now to walk up to a group of Moms and start talking with strangers who within minutes suddenly feel like a good friend from way back.  The topics are all easily relatable as everyone has either been through it, or is looking forward to it soon.  Advice is easy to come by, as well as understanding and commiseration.  And no matter how small an accomplishment it may be, there is always an honest “congratulations” to be given for you and your child.

This meeting, greeting and sharing makes it suddenly “easier” to be a Mom, knowing that while you may be up at 3am tending to your little one, there are other Moms not too far away, tending to their own. 

It doesn’t make you any less tired, however.