It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything of substance here. I blame that on the fact that I’ve been doing more of substance since being elected Treasurer of the Central Terminal Restoration Corporation. As I’ve spent the last few months gaining a deeper understanding of the many facets of the project, I’ve also been keeping an eye on the Statler saga. It’s a sad story for a storied building, but it’s fate will be one to watch as other Preservation projects, like ours, are probably more tied to it’s future than we’d like to admit.

One of the most frequently cited negatives of the Central Terminal project is that we’re located too far away from the downtown core. Yet with the Statler we have a historic building of the same age as the Terminal in the most prime location in the center of downtown. Yet, we have some people arguing it has a negative market value? That seems extraordinarily unlikely seeing that there were at least two bidders for it in the last auction, and the prior owner paid a couple million for it. There are hundreds of buildings in the city that you actually couldn’t give away which would fit the “worthless” moniker much better.

Of course, you have the people parroting for it’s demolition, but demolition is expensive for a structure like this. First, the building undoubtedly has asbestos that would need to be removed first. Asbestos removal is one of the costly items to deal with when rehabbing an old building. Second is the question of what do you replace a demolished building with? Buffalo isn’t in need of any more parking lots or shovel-ready sites. So if you don’t have a project waiting in the wings for this lot, and if you’re going to be stuck with an expensive taxpayer-funded demolition, what do you do? Exactly what is being done with the Statler – you seal it up and wait until the right developer comes along.

I think we can go one step better, actually. More needs to be done to preserve these key buildings that give Buffalo it’s unique feel and tie in it’s historical roots. Most business tax breaks are frequently criticized as being overly generous to a small number of companies, and many people are unsettled with the concept of handing over taxpayer dollars to businesses. The other “solution” has been instead to throw millions of dollars into brand-new development somewhere where there’s a clean slate, but that only distracts attention away from the problems at the city’s core.

Most people agree that infrastructure maintenance is a role of government. So, why not treat these buildings as infrastructure and take the money being thrown away for silver-bullet development and given away to companies that can afford to operate without the various tax breaks and subsidies and instead create a fund that will be directed towards preserving and preparing these key structures for the future? Focus on the areas that are expensive and problematic which deter the private developers – remove lead paint and asbestos, prevent water damage by sealing up roofs and windows, keep drains flowing and basements dry, and prevent scavengers from getting inside and stripping elements for scrap. Rather than letting the building sit dormant and slowly decay, make the investment to keep it usable for the future and more attractive to a developer who can focus on redeveloping it for current-day uses.

Everyone agrees that vacant, boarded up buildings have a negative impression on their area, so making sure there is a few of them as possible is an improvement to the entire community. A reinvestment plan like this makes the area more attractive to businesses, and will ultimately lower the cost of doing business by making buildings cheaper to rehab, thus lowering rent. It’s an investment in the city itself, which is what our tax dollars should be going towards.

It’s laughable to hear people say that the Statler it’s past it’s time. The Statler is nowhere near unsalvageable – it still had tenants in right up until it’s close. The Central Terminal has been largely vacant for 30 years. The Statler is a general-purpose building that can be easily adapted to a variety of purposes, unlike the Central Terminal’s purpose-built function which requires more imagination to adapt. And yes, the Statler is within spitting distance of the City Hall, not segregated a few miles away. I’ve read some comments from people saying a group like the CTRC should take over the Statler because we’ve done a commendable job with the Terminal, but volunteers are not what the Statler needs. If our group could get the Central Terminal back to the condition the Statler is in, that would be a success in itself. It’s the next phase of restoration that’s difficult and expensive and can’t be done simply by having dedicated people that love the project. Fixing the problems of the past to prepare for the future is where government can step in and do something tangible to help. Investing in your own property is something individuals and businesses alike can understand and regularly do, so we should be able to extend that philosophy to the public level.

Ariella caught a cold and didn’t have much of an appetite yesterday. She was so pooped by the end of the day, that she almost didn’t make it through bathtime.

The amount of snow that’s fallen is pretty crazy. It’s the light, fluffy, kind where you can see distinct snowflakes, and when you walk on it, you sink to your knees. Thought I’d take the camera out for awhile yesterday and see what I could capture.

Well… 2009 is gone already, huh? I feel obligated to blog something here more than an Ariella photo to start off the year, so here’s my stream of consciousness…

My 2009 was largely focused on two things – my new daughter and the Central Terminal. While the former was entirely positive, the latter was a mixed bag. It still stings that Mike Miller is gone. I miss chatting with him about cars, getting together for the occasional dinner and bottle of wine, and of course to discuss the Terminal and the future of Buffalo. In Mike’s footsteps, I was elected to the Board and am trying hard to improve the operations of the organization. It’s something that takes as much time as you can afford to sink into it, but it feels like good work is being accomplished.

More on Ariella – she’s so incredible! I’ve had the last two weeks off, and being able to spend that much time with her and Amanda has been a ton of fun. Ariella really seems to learn something new every day and I swear she’s grown up a bunch in the last two weeks. I’m sure 2010 will be no less amazing.

The end of 2009 also marked the completion of my 10th year at Praxair. Incredulously, that means I’ve been out of college for 10 years now! More credulously, it means I get 4 weeks of vacation now. That’s awesome. While being off, a bit of restructuring was going on in our department which should make for an interesting start to the year.

2009 was the year that I finally admitted to myself that our Select Comfort Sleep Number bed sucks ass, but not without making Select Comfort own up to the fact that their shit sucks first. Social media for the win there.

2009 was also our first year as primarily a single income family. Having just closed the books today, we managed to hold pretty closely to our budget. Had it not been for some unexpected drainage work that needed to be done after we decided to replace all the upstairs windows, it would have been a net positive year. We’ll need to work harder next year to build the savings up a bit.

I was able to improve my photography skills a bit last year as well, having the opportunity to take lots of baby pictures, as well as attend a David Tejada photo workshop and get the occasional feedback from my new friends over at Nickel City Studios.

Here’s to another year of new experiences and growth.

Baby with soft, fine hair + electrostatically charging plastic/vinyl kitchen = hair raising experience!

Merry Christmas to all our friends and family! Earlier this year, we went to Bronner’s CHRISTmas Wonderland in Frankenmuth, MI, a place I had been to several times over the years when visiting family in Michigan. I’ve had one of their signature handpainted ornaments for years, so we got one for Amanda and Ariella to add to our tree. That seemed like an appropriate photo to make for this year’s Christmas card.

Sorry to those that won’t get their physical Christmas card before Christmas. We are [still] waiting for some photos of Ariella we ordered to come in, and we figured if the cards were going to be late anyways, we may as well wait for the photos to come in. Please accept this digital substitute in the meantime.

Still editing my photos from the weekend, but this one was fantastic straight out of the camera. It helps to work with such a great model!

October was full of so many emotions my head is exhausted.  We went from super excited to worry and nervousness to extreme disappointment to happiness and thankful all in the span of 5 days.

The day of our good friend Suzy’s Wedding, I found out I was pregnant again.  We went to Suzy and Rob’s Wedding so full of joy, and feeling like we were on top of the world! And we were so good, we didn’t tell anyone except our parents. There were plenty of opportunities too, when other friends of ours asked us if we were thinking of having more children. We just looked at each other and said – ‘Maybe, we’ll see what happens!’

As it turns out, it was a better thing that we never said anything to anyone. The next day, I started Miscarrying, and lost the baby on that Tuesday. If I didn’t pay so close attention to my cycle, I never would have even known I was pregnant again. But me being 5 days late NEVER happens.

But that began a whole series of bloodwork, and learning a whole lot about pregnancy hormones in the meantime, in order to decifer what the doctor was telling us was going on. They kept telling me, ‘If you are in a lot of pain, take Tylenol – NOT Ibuprofin, just in case the pregnancy takes.’ JUST IN CASE??? They were remaining hopeful even though they were telling me it was most likely a miscarriage. (Or threatened abortion, as they wrote on my chart. Which let me tell you this Roman Catholic Conservative just thought was awesome! )

How can doctors do that? Tell you not to hope it will take, but at the same time tell you to avoid something just in case? I know they have to cover their asses, but that just does horrible thing to a possible Mom-To-Be-Again’s brain! And all the things they tell you – that it’s not your fault, you can’t screw up a pregnancy that easily or abortion wouldn’t be an issue (everyone would just drink too much, or go swing dancing as in our case at the Wedding to get rid of an unwanted pregnancy), or that there was something not right with the fertilized egg and your body gets rid of it on purpose, and that there is nothing they can do.  None of that mattered to me. And it only gives a momentary measure of comfort now. As the Mom, you can’t help thinking that something you did made this happen.

A few weeks later, all my tests came back negative. Negative for pregnancy that is. It was here and gone so fast I hardly knew it had happened! Now that our mandatory waiting period for trying again is over, I just keep wondering if maybe it was a sign from God, that we shouldn’t try again. Was it a warning that I won’t be able to handle two kids? Overall, it seems more difficult to deal with now than it did when it was actually happening. PLUS I’m super scared that if I do get pregnant again, will it take? Will I have to go through that again? Is there something wrong?

Now to the Blessings – I look at Ariella so differently now. To get pregnant with her and have no major issues, and be watching her grow into the beautiful little girl she is makes me so thankful. It is such a miracle to be able to do this ‘Mama Thing’, and makes me proud to be a woman who was at least Blessed to have done it once in my lifetime.

I truly do pray for all the Mothers who have lost a child, no matter when or how. It is not an easy thing to get through.

So Ariella just turned 13 months old, and I swear she is getting smarter by the minute! Here are some things that she is doing now. Actually, most of it she has been doing for about 2 months now but that is beside the point!

She calls our cat by his name – Isis. Ok, so she says ‘Ice’ because the last ‘is’ is difficult for her. But she comprehends that the cat has a name, and can approximate the saying of it. She stands at the door, like Mama does countless times during the day, and calls for him to come inside too!

There is LOTS of generalization going on with her! My parents also have a cat. His name is Max. While she can say Max, if you ask her to ‘Call Max’ she immediately says ‘Ice!’ with the smoochy calling a cat noise, and goes to their back door. Now this is interesting because it is a roundabout generalization. She not only knows that we have a cat, but that the animal my parents have is also a cat, and therefore calls him Isis like she does at home – generalizing the whole cat routine.

She understands that some things are shaped the same way, and will try to put all her ‘circular’ toys into the circle hole in her shape sorter. Most of the time they get stuck because they are too big, but she tries just the same.

When she has a cold, or a runny nose, she will blow her nose into a tissue. Not each and every time, but she knows there’s stuff in there that needs to come out, and she will blow to get it out. Actually, she does that sometimes whether or not she HAS said tissue. More fun clean up for Mama!

If her food is too hot, she will blow on it to cool it off like Mama does.

The other day in Wegmans, I made the horrible mistake of letting her see me put bananas in the cart. Seeing that this is one of her favorite foods and words to say, she immediately wanted those bananas! I gave her the bunch, which of course was my second mistake. I didn’t weigh them so I couldn’t give her one and was trying my best to ignore her pleas of ‘Ba-NANA’. Suddenly, she took my hand, flipped it over and put a banana into it. She looked at me pointedly and said very clearly “BA-NANA!” as if to say, ‘Hello, Lady! You peel this and feed it to me, remember?’

She just started giving ‘real’ hugs and kisses too! If you ask her for a kiss, she puckers up and gives you a kiss on the lips. Her hugs are getting longer and bigger as well.

Another awesome thing that started this Tuesday in fact, is saying her name! It is a basic apporoximation, but anyone listening would not be able to argue that she is in fact saying – ‘Ariella’, even though she adds a few more l’s into that verbalization. So cute!

All of these things are normal progression. It’s just that I didn’t expect my ONE year old to be doing them! I have taught in many a Preschools over the years, and this just seems to be a bit more than she should be doing/saying/comprehending at only 1 years old! Maybe it is completely normal, I have never had a 1 year old before after all. No matter what, she will always be amazing to me, because I am her Mama.